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The Human Touch Blog ~
David Farrant

Should I? Or Shouldn’t I?

Over-slept a little today, but still managed to get up by midday just in time to pick my mail from the post office collection centre which closed at 12. 30. (That’s not as bad as it sounds, because I didn’t get to bed before 5 a.m.).

Nothing too special in the mail. Just the usual book orders and some reduced tickets for a “Circus of Horrors” event for the benefit of Society members. To be honest, I just threw these away The glossy flyers were enough to put you off. I mean, who’s really interested in watching humans putting needles through themselves or enduring other unusual contortions? I suppose some people must be, or they wouldn’t spend money on all the advertising.

One letter from Australia from my ‘ex’ which had taken over 2 weeks to arrive, but that was just about personal things which I wouldn’t share here. But she seems fairly happy over there, and has her own house now. Wish I could be there in a funny sort of way (I have had an ‘invite’) if nothing else for the climate. And I also wish sometimes, I could just get away from all the commitments in London.

Arriving home, I found that the other delivery had since arrived. Another interesting letter amongst them; from a lady I had lost contact with for some time. She said she had seen my name on the Internet and had been prompted into writing. It had a new telephone number on it, so I might just phone her later. I just don’t know. Really there are other official telephone calls which should be dealt with first, so domestic one’s should really come later. But I do prefer to use the phone if possible; its so much easier than writing emails.

Another letter was to the ‘legal occupier’. It was from the Council, and do you believe it?, they were still going on about the blessed fence! I just couldn’t believe how trivial some people could be. Its not even as if it had ‘collapsed’ and people couldn’t walk down the pavement! I threw that on the floor roughly opened, and left it there, just in case that little official came back again.
I had just snatched some tea, when the phone went. Nothing really important, just some query call from a bookshop in Kent enquiring about the availability of a book ‘Yes’, it was still available they were told; it would be sent with an invoice and they could pay afterwards. What had confused them was the unavailability of the previous edition, and they had not received notification of the later revised edition.

I was not really worried because all the books sell regularly, but now and again I have to deal with orders myself. Its just a little more work, but I knew I couldn’t really complain about that.
Had a free couple of hours, so I decided to clean up the kitchen a bit. Somehow, I wish I’d never started as one untidy patch led to another.
My thoughts returned to the possibility of employing a girl (yes. it would have to be a female!) a few hours a week to help keep the place clean – or ‘cleanish’. Strictly business, of course. And just relieve me of such mundane tasks.

Suppose I could always get married again. But the latter option seemed a lot cheaper!


7 responses

  1. Employing a girl? In your flat? Ha ha! Well, it could be slightly cheaper and less hassle than getting married – flip! A third marriage? Ha ha!

  2. Third time lucky??!! I really don’t know.
    But I really am serious about employing a girl you know.
    I wouldn’t mind cleaning so much, but I have been having a little trouble with my back recently (as well as my foot) which makes it painful to move freely or perform certain tasks.
    I think possibly a girl from a ‘third world’ country would be feasible, as there’re more respectful than European girls and would be a lot cheper!
    I’ll ask my friend when he brings my cigarettes later (he’s from Iraq), hw might know of somebody.

  3. Well, I guess you’re right – a girl from a Third World country would be happy with the 50p a week you’d pay her! Ha ha! Tell me, what happens if she finds any more knickers under the rubble in the back room? Will she get paid any extra? Ha ha!

  4. Come on, Columbine. I’m not that mean! I’d at least pay her the minimum wage which is five pounds!
    As to finding anything in the back room, I wouldn’t be expecting her to work in there. And she wouldn’t get any extra if she found anything in any of the other rooms either!

  5. I should know better – you are not stingy when it comes to ‘splashing the cash’, David. Minimum wage at least! Heh heh! It’ll be a lot less hassle than getting married again – think of the nagging you’ll avoid, and who knows? This girl who ‘does’ may be more accommodating than a wife!

  6. ‘More accommodating’!?
    Not quite sure what you mean by that! but I’m sure as hell not going to fall in love with anyone again.
    No, this is (or will be) strictly business!

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1946 - 2019




From the vaults ...

A flashback to one of David’s comedic, profound or quizzical blog entries. Dive into the archives to find more gems.