RIP + David Farrant 1946 - 2019 +

Close this search box.

The Human Touch Blog ~
David Farrant

You Know Who You Are – And So Does Le Comte

Received a visit from an old friend on Thursday night, Rob Milne, who many will remember as Le Comte de Milano, the acclaimed international playboy, duellist and occultist who caused so much controversy in the UK a few years ago by fighting on the ‘Cause of right’ to defeat the forces of evil.

This was only one milestone in his turbulent career . . . but it was sufficient to invoke the wrath of many so-called religious sects and groups in the UK after Le Comte had denounced them as all being ‘false prophets’! He was almost certainly right . . . they were! But disillusioned by all the hypocrisy of such individuals and their attempts to smear him on a global scale, Rob finally left the UK a few years ago to return to his ancestral roots in Northern Italy. He did need ‘a well-earned- rest’ as he confided to myself a few years ago; but we agreed to keep in contact. I was not in the least surprised therefore to hear from him a couple of weeks ago announcing that he had to return to the England for a while and ‘could we put him up for a couple of weeks’, as he had some a matter of ‘honour’ to sort out in the UK.

Of course, I said he was welcome, and lo and behold he turned up last Thursday. It turns out, as I suspected from several cryptic phonecalls and posts on my Blog and various forums, that Le Comte has been keeping a protective and watchful eye on the Land of Farrant, and the nefarious behaviour of those who would threaten its reputation – himself included. Le Comte after all is a long established member not only of The Highgate Vampire Society, but of The British Psychic and Occult society’s inner circle.

Anyway, he turned as expected after a long trip with his long-time paramour Veronica, armed with a bottle of best scotch whiskey, champagne and some bottles of wine . . . and he’s still here with his fair damsel!

But they are very welcome, and we’ve all had a great time catching up, and no doubt there will be more adventures to follow.

I was a bit surprised to learn though that since our last meeting ‘in the flesh’, Le Comte has followed in the footsteps of that other notorious libertine Lord Byron, and become a vegetarian. He claims that this maintains his equilibrium, and inhibits his desire to take up the rapier again. But judging by the things he was coming out with on Thursday his diet seems to be having quite the opposite effect. I have often wondered whether the self-denial of an innate urge for blood can provoke peculiar consequences in certain personalities . . .

Anyway, I will keep you all informed on Le Comte’s progress before he returns to his secret retreat in Northern Italy – once his business in the UK has been completed of course.

Well, that’s the latest for now everyone. And be back soon.


5 Responses

  1. My esteemed hosts,
    Forgive our sudden departure this morning, we will return this evening. I decided to yield to impulse during last night and, not wanting to rouse you from your torpor, have decided on a quick visit to the South coast to check out the lie of the land and the quality of the local footpads should my quarry feel it necessary to hire some cheap muscle. True, I have langushed too long among the comforts of the pipe of dreams and the gentle caresses of my Lady Veronica. But that time has not been wasted. As my late fencing master, Dr Von Grost advised ” The fool strikes. The wise man waits and watches.Then strikes”.That time has come. A yard of finest Toledo steel will attest to my resolve. But haste is never prudent in these matters, despite the burning need for justice, thus this initial foray into the foe’s territory. But fear not, my resolve is unwavering. The day of reckoning looms. Until this evening,
    Le Comte

  2. Sir/Madam,
    Apropos of the above post, I am glad that I followed my instincts. As yuo know, the success of any campaign depends on the gathering of intelligence. In this respect I have been proven right. A tour of some local dives has assured us that a veitale motley of ruffians can be hired for the price of some cheap cider.One such taverna the Bear and Golliwog was of especial interest. At first the grizzled denizens put up a show of belligerence which was somewhat mollified by a glimpse of milady’s silvered flintlocks. The more enthusiastic were quelled by a couple of teeth-shattering buffets. No doubt they will scurry to report to their master as a dog returns to its vomit. But all the better if they do. I want the swine to toss and turn nightly, never knowing when the avenging stroke will fall. As to his retreat, drawn blinds attested the fact that he was in situ rather than beiing about his professed ecclesiastical business as one would expect of a genuine man of the cloth on a sunday morning. In fact a shadowy figure could be seen lumbering past one of those blins, its head curiously rendered grotesque by some form of headware, perhaps the very prize itself. There was also the sound of manic hand clapping from within and a baritone rendition of the Rupert the Bear theme which degenerated into booming laughter. Aye, the fiend was within allright. For the briefest of moments temptation blazed. So easy to end it there and then but so much more satisfying to let him reflect on his sins and sweat away his final days in terror. Until tonight’

  3. My dears,
    Got some lovely photos today. Very natural as subject was unaware. Should look good in the book. Well, that pretty much wraps things up here. The ‘business’ is taking care of itself very nicely. We should get back around ten this evening so stick the kettle on. Don’t bother with food as I and V have eaten already. Got some intruiging news to share.
    Until tonight
    R and V

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


1946 - 2019




From the vaults ...

A flashback to one of David’s comedic, profound or quizzical blog entries. Dive into the archives to find more gems. 

In Lazy Mode

I know I said this last time, but I think I’m getting a bit lazy again. I mean, at writing here. No excuse really, because