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The Human Touch Blog ~
David Farrant

Fictional Tales Retold

Well, Halloween has faded into the night, taking all its ghosts with it! And hopefully now, people can put what is left of those ridiculous pumpkins in the dustbin!  ‘Till next year at least.

C has kindly told me that he’ll try and post up the Metro article on my main website, then I can post a link up here. But he really has been very busy at the moment with other matters.
Do you know I still haven’t received my complimentary copies of Metro. So thank you Columbine for saying you’ve posted me one. I’ll probably get yours before I get theirs!

I finished the long Introduction to the last chapter of the new book yesterday  (Can you believe it, 34 A5 pages – and that’s just the Introduction!). Yes, I know Introductions usually go at the beginning so let me explain . . . This is the Introduction to the last chapter which is an update of things up to present – if that makes sense. If it doesn’t, it’ll just have to! As us authors don’t like giving too much away.

So anyway, now I’ve hopefully dealt with the Robin Hood ‘ghost stuff’, I think we can safely put that away for the time being. There have been so many blatant contradictions in this whole silly story about the haunted grave (which I have always said is situated in an unique area and could be haunted – only NOT by a ‘demonic wailing old hag‘ or a ‘vampire’) that the contradictions themselves would make a good story. The old saying comes to mind . . . “Liars, need good memories”!  (And there’s more than enough of these blatant contradictory statements on record).
I guess if people really choose to believe fiction and fictional stories, its up to them. Not up to them though surely to condemn other people for not accepting such nonsense! But that is really their problem though – not mine. I think anybody who lends themselves to the idea that ‘real-life’ vampires (or ‘giant vampire spiders’) literally exist, really has got a real problem! Especially when such people try to reiterate such stories as ‘fact’!

That’s it really. Although perhaps just one final point. I have just received permission to give publication details of the other book I mentioned recently. But you’ll have to bear with me as I’ve mislaid the piece of paper I wrote them on. No problem because I can always go back to the email. So hopefully tomorrow,

Although for the moment,


19 Responses

  1. Dear David
    You said:
    “I think anybody who lends themselves to the idea that ‘real-life’ vampires (or ‘giant vampire spiders’) literally exist, really has got a real problem! Especially when such people try to reiterate such stories as ‘fact’!”
    I dont want to offend anyone but I feel very strongly about this!
    What I find most distrurbing are the extreme cases where individuals start believing themselves to be vampires. I know little about the details ‘vampiroidism’ if that’s the correct term, and to honest I wish remain ignorant. But the few cases I’ve read about are deeply upsetting, what an apalling state for a human bieng to get into. The real danger in these cases has nothing whatsoever to do with the supernatural, the real danger lies in a mind that is severely disturbed psychologically.
    Regards Matt

  2. i totally agree with Matt.
    there was a show on cable last night called Real Vampires and it was pretty sad and embarassing to see people believe they are vampires.
    it also had your old nemesis on it David banging on about highgate.
    he mentioned several people being killed in connection with highgate. i thought that only one woman was suppoosed to have been killed and she ended up turning into a giant spider but was really his girlfriend in real life.
    the only other death was some bloke who was found dead in the cemetary but there was no proof that he was vamped to death.
    its as mad as ppl who say ‘if u close ur eyes and jump on one leg and spin around, it looks just like a vampire’.
    yeah whatever.

  3. cheers for the response David.
    she named checked me on her little blog and said something about you and her getting married and having kids!!!
    is that true?!
    were you actually going out with her or not?

  4. Thanks Matt,
    Actually, I think you,ve hit the real point . . . ‘when people start to believe things which are so obviously fiction’. There is the danger – there is no danger in the fiction itself, anymore than it is really ‘dangerous’ for very young children to believe in either Santa Claus or Batman!
    I guess all of us go through that stage in one form or another. That’s just a part of maturing and growing up. Most people develop through this natural maturing process – but some don’t.
    You are right about these ‘vampireoids’ – kids who spout plastic fangs and dress up as vampires, and can actually believe that they are ‘vampires’! I have met a few of them personally, and they have actually become “possessed” by such a belief.
    It is,of course, fiction; but to them it is real – and that’s the danger.
    The human mind is doing many strange things, Matt.
    To me it all comes back to this question of the human mind. THATS where all the gods, devils, evils and ‘vampires’ exist; not outside of it. take away human recognition of such things, and these simply ‘die’ – although do not even really ‘die’ because they had no real existence in the first place.
    The mind was originally intended to be a vechile for Higher Consciousness (or God). But in many instances lower conscious (that I term ‘human mind) smothers Reality and the result are unreal dreams (that can include even such things as ‘vampires’).
    There are, of course, no ‘vampires’. But there is no devil either, outside of the human mind that created one, and gave it ‘life’!
    I feel sorry for many of these ‘vampire kids’ you mention. But they are just deluded and do not harm anybody generally, except perhaps themselves.

  5. Hi Craig,
    “‘demonic wailing old hag‘
    which one?
    I accidentally allowed a double post Craig. But I have left it as I think it appropriately answers your question!

  6. In answer to your second point Craig, about people making claims about ‘vampires’ on TV (or elsewhere), I have really answered that in my answer to Matt.
    Vampires only existence is in the mind, they do not exist outside of it.
    As you point out (although I did not see the programme) the same person making these claims, was also the very same one who ‘staked’ a beautil young vampire (as you rightly say, his girlfriend) after she (it, sorry!) had just turned into a ‘giant spider’!
    Can you really believe the mentality of people who claim such nonsense; or the mentality of others who lend their support to such irreligious claims?!
    The mind truly boggles!

  7. so basically you were shagging your secretary!!! lol
    who said stereotypes were dead!
    at least ur not married and the wife didn’t find out or be told.
    you avoided the thing about gettingmarried and having kids.
    is that bit true?

  8. For Columbine,
    Thank you for the Metro, came this morning.
    The paper also actually sent two as well – amazing!

  9. HELL HATH NO FURY . . .
    This could be the end of a ‘beautiful friendship’!
    You KNOW I don’t want that sort of personal stuff on here.
    OK. I’ll answer you, but only in view of the fact that this person keeps repeating (quite obsessively) a story that I was ‘her EX’.
    But the deal is, please don’t come back to this again. I’ve really had enough of it – and her.
    I’ll answer you by way of an analogy:
    Lets take a fictitious example of a boss and his secretary.
    She is an excellent secretary; he likes her and he keeps her. This working relationship lasts for a few years.
    Problem is, she falls in love with him.
    But another problem is, he does not love her.
    Not her fault; but neither is it his fault either.
    Eventually, she changes her job, and goes to work for a ’rival company’ He says ‘good riddance’ but has no bad feelings.
    But he eventually discovers that she has betrayed his trust by giving classified information to this other company. He disassociates himself from her, but takes no action and just ‘leaves her to it’.
    He wants nothing further to do with her and says as much publicly.
    She becomes enraged, and begins to make public claims that they were having a loving relationship; even that he was her ‘Ex’.
    He answers these claims by saying that although they had a working relationship (she as his secretary), it was really little more than that.
    She becomes even more embittered to the extent of becoming obsessed and spreading malicious rumours about him, even to the extent of inventing lies about him.
    It becomes a “Hell hath no fury” situation.
    In the end, she ‘loses the plot’ completely and, encouraged by the ‘rival company’, tries to frame her boss for things he has not even done to her . She does actually have a conscience, but hides behind religion to protect this . . .
    I hope this hypothetical story answers your question Craig.
    Now please do leave it COMPLETELY as I do not want this sort of thing here.
    The only reason I did not delete your comment, was to prevent people saying I have ‘something to hide’.
    I have not,
    David Farrant

  10. so much for not reading ur blog!!!
    i wonder if they’re gonna send their own posts to the police as well as urs.
    bit hypocritical really when shes bangingon about u harassing her. looks the other way round to me mate.
    i got another name check and told to keep out of it lol!!!

  11. You really are pushing it Craig!
    But as I allowed the first one, I’ll allow this.
    It was the ‘secetary’ in my hypothetical story who wanted to get married.
    To fill the story in, lets say she bought a catalouge page with her on one of her visits with an engagement ring circled in biro.
    I believe the boss would have suggested waiting a little.
    To save you even asking . . . it is possible to sleep in the same bed with someone without being in love with them.
    Its happened to me loads of times!!
    Now enough!

  12. ‘We’ll stuff the Yorkshire Puddings down your throat if we ever get hold of you or Farrant.’
    now if id have said that she’d have been running to the police crying even harder about threats harassment and stuff.
    total hypocritical nutter.
    i suppose u could call that a threat David.
    mind u as long as she serves up some meat, veg and gravy i dont mind the yorkshie pudding.

  13. Yes Craig, I know, I’ve already seen it.
    Talk about obsessed. There’s already been about another six posts tonight when all I did was to answer one of your questions.
    And they are not very nice. You can almost feel the venom oozing out of them!
    Bit late about the Statement though. I have already delivered it to the relevant authorities and it has already been published in the introduction to my new book (along with other official documentation, emails and letters – even a comic book!).
    Just ignore it Craig. Now perhaps you can see why I,ve always been reluctant to answer any of it!
    For the moment,

  14. Did someone mention Yorkshire Puddings? I can’t believe those rural village yokel twits are still twitching and prating on about Our Dear Olde David. Heaven knows he’s not bothering anybody, merely flitting about, to this magazine interview or that photo shoot, a bird on each arm, a wan smile plastered on his mug, and a fistful of dosh jingling in his pockets. Did you know he’s been nominated for the Nobel Prize?….a rumour I heard when attending the Halloween party given by the black cats in my area (goats were not allowed, thankfully). Miaow.

  15. Hello Again Cat,
    Glad to see you back (sort of!),
    Where have you been? On holiday or taking an extra long ‘cat nap’?
    Yes, as you can see, the two ‘Yorkshire dumplings’ are still raving about me! Post after post, after post! As you say, what have I done to deserve it? except to answer ONE question about what they keep persistently saying!
    I think its what’s called ‘obsession’! Thank God most of my other fans are not like this!
    Welcome back,

  16. David said = ‘To fill the story in, lets say she bought a catalouge page with her on one of her visits with an engagement ring circled in biro.
    I believe the boss would have suggested waiting a little.’
    In my case, my erstwhile ‘boss’ brought some estate agents’ details to me, along with a picture of an engagement ring. Some men can be as obsessive as some women. I have lost count of the gifts and pledges of troth that have been given to me in the name of passion (and substitutes for marriage proposals!) from my ex-boss.
    I saw the Vampires documentary on the Discovery channel at the weekend (a re-run.) I am not going to comment on it here, but will do so on the main website.

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1946 - 2019




From the vaults ...

A flashback to one of David’s comedic, profound or quizzical blog entries. Dive into the archives to find more gems. 


My new book “David Farrant – Out of the Shadows” has now been printed.  This means I will be able to meet all outstanding orders