Feeling exceptionally lazy today, so don’t feel like writing much. Same yesterday too.
But as I said, all this hard physical work is finished for the moment, so that’s something. Its not that I don’t have time – I do. I just didn’t feel like it. If I don’t feel like doing something, I just don’t do it, unless I really have to. (Wednesday was an example of that). That’s just the way I am. Yet conversely, if I want to do something – or feel strongly that something needs doing – I usually do it with little or no thought for material consequences. I don’t mean by that, that if I happen to think some ‘material law’ is wrong, I deliberately ‘flout’ it; I mean that is always a secondary consideration, never a first one.
Let me give you one such example (shouldn’t really because Cat and Craig will just love it!):
When I was at Boarding school in Weymouth when I was fifteen, I was ordered to get my hair cut by the barber who visited the school every 2 weeks to cut hair on a rota in different classes. I refused. I was given another chance (by then the barber had gone) but told I had to get it cut the next time. Nothing more was said but everybody was expecting me to ‘knuckle down; (both pupils and staff alike) and get it cut he next time. Everybody was waiting – indeed, it was the talk of the school as I had already made it clear to many of the pupils that my decision was final. And it was. When the time came, I refused to queue for the barber, and I was told that because of this, I was being expelled.
Now, this might not seem so strange today, but it should be remembered that this was in 1961 when everybody had short back and sides (except the girls, of course!) and if your hair grew more than an inch from your collar, it was considered ‘long’. Sideburns were virtually unheard of. Things were to change later in the sixties, but this was well before those days . . . well before the Beatles or the Rolling Stones came into prominence.
In fact, it was considered so unusual, that it wasn’t too long before people turned to look at me on the street, and if I walked past a bus stop or got on a tube – or went anywhere come to that – all heads would turn with mixed emotions. The main one was amazement that someone could dare to flout usual convention. But I really didn’t care (though my father really did). I considered that it was my hair, nobody else’s, and if I wanted to grow it, I would do. It cost me my schooling – but I really didn’t care about that either. Really, I just wanted to be free. I considered freedom of soul and spirit were of far greater importance than adhering to popular conventions, religious one’s included.
I am sure I inherited this trait for self-dependence from my mother; although I would have always respected her wishes. But she also respected mine so it is only guess-work to say whether or not she would have minded. In fact, she had died some 2 years before, so maybe this was another reason I didn’t really care about material things.
Anyway, enough of this. I’m giving Cat and Craig too much ammunition! Well, I see Speedqueen is back. So maybe I can just leave her to deal with them!
Went out briefly today. But only to ‘stock up’ with a few essential things. On that subject, I learned that my friend H who brings me my duty free cigarettes, is indeed away on ‘holiday’, and won’t be back ‘till March 20th. Not long really. At least not if you were to compare it with 5 years!
Well, I shall be getting on with some more serious writing later tonight. That needs more ‘grammatical’ thought which doesn’t really matter when I ‘scrawling’ here!