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The Human Touch Blog ~
David Farrant

The Moving Finger Writes . . .

Well I had a day off yesterday as everybody will probably be relieved to hear. Very busy writing in the afternoon but then had a visitor in the evening, so never really got a chance to do anything.

As a matter of fact, I got a telephone call from Yorkshire not long before 7 from one of the very people I had included in a chapter I had just completed a little earlier. I had to cut this short as the doorbell went about 7 and I thought it was my visitor turning up a little earlier. It wasn’t. It was the guy with my cigarettes! But she still came later.

The person called on my answer-machine phone and then I couldn’t cut the machine off and it went on recording making a horrible ’feed back’ noise so I asked her to call back on another number. Unfortunately, the line goes through the same spur so ended up recording it anyway which I really didn’t want to happen – especially as I was recording myself as well!. Anyway, when I heard the bell, I asked the person to call back this evening which she duly did.

The conversation was about the situation in hand, and which I’d actually been writing about. Well, some people do call me psychic; or maybe she was! Whatever, I cannot report personal conversations here (or anywhere else for that matter unless they relate to public statements made about myself); or I could do but quite frankly I do have some principles!

Suffice it is to say, that I hope I clarified the position a little; especially my chapter which includes ‘supping with the devil’.

Apart from that all is ‘Quiet On the Western Front‘ – although it won’t be when the book comes out! I can say here though, that I will probably be sending an advance copy of the text to the person who phoned so it can be checked for accuracy. It will not be to invite comment, as these have already been made in public abundance. It will be simply to confirm that I have got names, times and events correct. The other people concerned will not be getting any advanced copy; though they will probably be able to obtain one from the relevant authorities if they want to.

Actually, I am under no obligation to send advance text to anyone, but under the circumstances, some people might just enjoy it!

Had quite a busy day earlier. Got a new printer for one thing, but have to wait for someone to install it. In fact, there is nothing wrong with the old one, it some just ‘unprogrammed’ itself, so I’ll get them to do that too at the same time. Well, then I’ll have a printer for each computer. And when I get the other two back, I’ll have 4 operational computers! Haven’t really got room for them all; a couple will really just have to go next door. Too cold to work in there in the winter, as I’ve said, but then I can only use one at a time!

So, no more news really for the moment. There will be soon though. Just take my word for it!


42 responses

  1. Phone call from Yorkshire? A romantic reconciliation in the wind?
    With all tangled phone flex cords and bollocksed-up printers and phones kept in the oven, I am surprised you aren’t electrocuted yet!

  2. was the fonecall from a person who resembles a statue?!
    and did she tell u that the back stabber fancies her priest!!!??? now way!
    is that why shes such a “good perfect christian” HAHAHAHA
    i supppose thats one reason why somebody would go to church. they fancy the priest!
    …is that why shes mates with bonkers? cos she fancies him as well?!
    this is too funny.
    she made about 200 and something posts about how evil u were and how christian she was!!
    what a bloody hypocritical liar!!!
    if the priest tells her off i wonder if she’ll leave the church altogether.
    £100 says shes only christian cos she fancies him

  3. The question is…who’s next on her crush list?
    What do Derek Acorah, Bishop Bonky, David Farrant, and The Parish Priest have in common?
    And what about that fellow with the bondage gear?
    Oh I can’t wait to see the cartoons.

  4. yeah but theresa difference here david
    the so called christian and her mate have written all sorts of shit about u for absolutely ages and have made up loads of rubbish.
    ‘Babs’ was banging on about all sorts and just seemed to make the situation worse.
    i’m not suprised the so callec christian has hod a row with her but uv gotta see it from the point of view of a reader, theyve been giving u grief for so long and the minuete they have a row between each other babs comes crying to u.
    she wrote so much crap and nasty stuff about u mate that i think shes got a nerve.
    i’m still laughing about her fancying the priest and the fact that her mate foned u of all people to tell u!!!
    the coven of 3 babs, bish and hessian sack are all as bad as each other.
    christians?! hah. they dont know the meaning of the word. pathetic liars.
    sorry mate but it gets my back up when people try and come across all special and turn out to be bigger tossers than the people they condemn.
    Cat fancy making a bet on how long hessian will last in the church?
    i give her less than 6 months before she hangsd up her beads! lol
    i’ll buy you a crate of milk if i’m wrong.
    you canbuy me a crate of booze!

  5. There is NO reconciliation in any wind, you stupid tabby. The wind simply just isn’t blowing!
    In case I didn’t make it plain enough, the phone call was NOT from the one who directly ‘stabbed me in the back’ – so to speak. Although it would seem she has done just that to her colleague now. It was apparently over ‘church business’, and I learned – which I knew already – the ‘back stabber’ only attended church at all due to a ‘crush’ on her priest! She (the ‘back stabber’) apparently got told off for the most decidedly unchristian comments being made making on her Blog. Over 200 of these since August which have now had to be deleted.
    I did point out earlier here in general terms that that’s just what can happen if people choose to ‘sup with the devil’!
    It is not the priest’s fault in any way (as my informant pointed out); he was just deceived by the person’s real intentions.
    For now,

  6. Craig is right. The statue and the hessian sack slagged you up and down the web and now that shaving-brush-nicking cow comes running to you???
    I think it’s a wind-up with Bonky calling the tunes from behind the purple curtain.
    Someone ought to put him into some bondage gear.

  7. Hi once again Craig,
    Well, I see I can always rely on you (and that Cat!) whenever anything potentially ‘sensational’ comes up!
    Bear in mind we are only supposed to be talking about ‘life in general’ here, with ‘ghost cases’ added in admittedly.
    OK. To answer your question/s, if I must.
    I really do not know the extent of the person’s alleged ‘conversion’ to Christianity. I am NOT opposed to any genuine such conversion; just highly suspicious when such ‘conversion’ extends to supporting people who are not genuine. ‘Supping with the devil’ once again.
    I feel that the person who telephoned me had a genuine grievance. At least, I sensed that she had seen through a lot of this hypercritical charade.
    I am obviously not at liberty to say what was actually discussed; other than that the person concerned was finally ’seeing through’ it.
    Regarding your questions: the person concerned may well have had (still has) a ’crush’ on her priest. (My God, that hardly surprises me – she had a ’crush’ on me once!). But, as you seem to say, the interest did not really extend to the genuine Christianity that the priest was only trying to convey.
    As I said, this has now apparently been finally realised by one of the person’s close colleagues. But I am not really at liberty to say anymore than that.
    If you told me things privately, Craig, I would not repeat them on-line. The phone calls I had represent a similar situation!
    For now,

  8. “Derek Acorah”
    that bloke is a total liar!!!
    i still remember when the crew set him up and make up a character called rik eedles and derek claimed to have gotten in touch with his spirit.
    turns out rik eedles is an anagram of DEREK LIES
    they also did one where they made up a person called kreed kafer and derek fell for it again only he didnt know it was an anagram of DEREK FAKER.
    what a dickhead.
    have a look for yourself

    watch the video where hes going itno one and says kreed kafer.
    what a prick.
    i love it when he goes all special and says “sam sam help me sam”
    if hessian fancies him i cant say i’m suprised.

  9. “What do Derek Acorah, Bishop Bonky, David Farrant, and The Parish Priest have in common?
    And what about that fellow with the bondage gear?”
    With the exception of ‘Bonky’, I guess the answer to that Cat is just natural charm and intelligence!

  10. In trouble with women again? When will you learn, you nerk?
    It starts with her baring her soul to you on the phone…and possibly ends with her baring ‘something else’!
    Watch she doesn’t show up at your flat full of ideas some dark night.

  11. For Craig,
    I’m not sure about Derek Acorah. Quite a few mediums ‘make up’ things, admittedly, but sometimes (albeit unbeknown to themselves), they somehow perceive the truth.
    Regarding your other points, there seems to be no question that the person concerned is just using the Church for her own ends. Just as she conveniently just seems to ‘latch on’ to any ‘Church’ that conveniently suits her.
    It is only a sham, I’m afraid. People genuinely affiliated to any Church, could only really be true to it if they followed its true doctrines.
    Love and forgiveness being one of these. Whatever happened to those?!

  12. For Cat,
    I guess I am just a little too lenient with people sometmes!
    Remember, I am supposed to be a witch – not a Christian (if you believe all the nonsense!).
    Maybe that’s why I just recognise ‘some allowances’. But only some. The majority will be retracted in the book almost completed.
    I’ll have to get your personal email sometime, Cat, then I can send you further details.
    Might actually send you a free copy, as you’ve been so persistent with your ‘miaowings’ here!

  13. hi david
    hope u enjoyed the links with that faker derek.
    i was wondering but how many times has babs called u or spoken to u about the situation in total?
    has she apologised for the way she treated u or came out will all that crap?
    i agree with cat and think its a wind up. after all babs even said on her msn group that she sent bonkers a christmas card…as a joke.
    yeah right. as if.
    why would u send a christmas card to someone for a joke when theres so much bad blood?
    smells fishy if u ask me.
    fishy enough for a cat to pounce on!
    so anyway, how many times did she call u?

  14. Craig, good luck convincing David to be wary of Babs. He’s gormless when confronted with female “wiles”!

  15. hi david
    i tried that email but it doesnt work so i emailed k and she ssaid she’ll sort it out.
    so how many times have u spoken to babs now?
    come on. simple question!!!

  16. Well one thing good about The Statue and Co. – their past “antics” have provided some priceless amusement to all.
    I’ll never forget reading the “news” posted on their ‘Christian’ blog regarding you supposedly injured in a melee with the Metro police, spending Thanksgiving in jail, and lieing on your death bead.
    Better than any fiction novel!

  17. What do you think this is Craig? The bloody Spanish Inquisition?! (And you know how much us witches liked that!).
    The problem is, it has always been my policy not to discuss other people here, and it makes it even more difficult when yourself (yes, and you, Kitty Cat) ask me loaded questions here.
    Now that the ‘other Blog’ has disappeared into the ether (although its certainly all on paper), I just wonder if its wise to resurrect it – albeit in a ‘third hand form’ – when it might be left to leave it in the filthy mire from whence it was born. (Well, that seems to have been the opinion of the Church authorities anyway).
    My understanding is, that the Christmas card was just sent as a sarcastic joke.
    It is the other one who has fully rejoined the forces of evil. I realise she was nasty to myself, but I don’t personally believe that the ‘Christmas card sender’ has quite reverted to the evil to that degree.
    I genuinely cannot remember if you have my private email or not. If not, please email me at my main Website at: [email protected] and I can explain.
    For the moment,

  18. After some snooping on the net, I just now discovered that the Statue writes self published “gothic fiction” novels.
    Silly me. Now the drama about Farrant in Maidstone Prison (where they sent the Kray brothers) dying in a police cell while the romantic but love-spurned Yorkshire lass contemplates rushing to his bedside, etc. makes perfect sense – as a fantasy!

  19. I’m not being taken in by anybody, Cat.
    By the very association with somebody who boasted that her only real desire was to see end up in jail (very Christian that!), I assure you I am very, very wary!
    And I ain’t stupid either, I assure you!

  20. Craig, I’ll tell you in an email – when I get it.
    But its not for publication on here – understand?! (Well, you,ve got no choice really since I moderate it!).

  21. Yes, I have to admit that some parts were funny Cat; even funnier because they were taking fiction so seriously! (Remember the ‘Maidstone hotel’, for example?).
    And ‘dying in a police cell’, which was really only just wishful thinking!
    But the serious underlying motivation wasn’t at all nice – or at all Christian.
    Yet the more personal stuff, was not even disguised. It amounted to just sheer spite and malice. “Hell hath no fury” etc . . . I know I have said this before, but it is so true here.

  22. speaking of the Krays u met them didnt u David?
    i’m sure u told me u did although i might have imagined it!
    as for gothic fiction…thats a page out of Bonkers book surely!
    i saw a really funny pisstake of his gothic fiction online ages ago.
    it was from portal of evil but the link is too hot to post here.

    Brilliant!!! Now I seriously can’t wait to see the cartoons!
    Re: the fiction. What I saw was nothing extraordinary. Just a bunch of tosh about heroic yokel swains romancing wenches and solving the mystery of “Robin Hood’s grave”….

  24. David i know you have reason to be wary of females but cant beleive you have refused my offers of meeting up.i am sure i could satisfy all your needs and make you blissfully happy.but unless you take up my offer soon i will pack up my erotic costumes wrap my cloak around me and disappear to pastures new.are you man or mouse.if your a man then your take up this womans offer or maybe youd prefer to be the cats plaything…….. xxxxxxxxx

  25. I only met them once, Craig, but it wasn’t in Maidstone! It was at a North London party in 1965. Ronnie seemed the most friendly of the two, at least to me anyway. Reggie seemed very ‘cold and aloof’, and only kept to the same group of people.
    I’m afraid you’ve lost me on the Gothic fiction written by the ‘Statue’. Thanks for not putting a link up here before I know what its about. Well, us ‘witches’ can’t be expected to know everything, can we!?

  26. Oh bloody hell….! It’s all kicking off here…passions and hormones, gossip and scandal running riot all over the place!

  27. David, just so you know, ‘Speedqueen’ is the name of a London nightclub catering to, erm, how shall I describe it…uh, “women with something extra down below”.

  28. Thank you Speed Queen. Yes I still DO want to meet you, and no doubt we can meet up soon.
    I am not really wary of women in general; just a couple recently have made me so inclinced in that direction.
    This does not apply to yourself, obviously; so be it known, I hope we will meet very soon.
    Have to be careful what I say here, as no doubt that Cat will misinterpret it. But we can meet soon – that’s if you still want to?!
    For the moment,

  29. For (my!) Speedqueen!
    Sorry Speedqueen, I released your post to Cat but realised after I’d put it up (forgive the accidental pun!) on “Every Other Day”.
    Guess it doesn’t really matter.
    You tell that randy Tom, girl! He probably only gets all his knowledge of nightclubs from the seedy alleyways he sulks around at night.
    So, you used to be a biker; gets more and more intriguing! Yes, you are still very much invited as I’d like to meet you (and this is a public statement, so no ‘bulldust’!). I just want to pick a warm spell, and Jan and Feb are so unpredictable. No doubt you won’t be too cold with all your cycle gear on, but I’d like it to be warm so you could just take off the heavy gear and be more comfortable! (Shut up Cat, in advance!).
    We can meet very soon, seriously. As I think I’ve said, South London isn’t that far with the tube network. Might seem more to me with a bad foot, but if you can stand that, you’re more than welcome.
    For the moment,

  30. Dave whats the matter with u mate!!
    if i had some bird banging on about wanting to jump my bones i’d be well in there!!! especially if she was a biker bird…check out my chopper lol!!

  31. I’m just saying, David should investigate her “undercarriage” to confirm that it has “the right bits” before anything serious happens!

  32. Why do I seem to be getting so much trouble with you two? Yes, I mean both of you, Craig and Cat.
    You came to my talk Craig last May, so I would have hoped you would have seen the serious side behind all this. My talk was only about unexplained phenomena – it was not about helicopters!
    As for you, Cat, you seem to be ‘revelling’ in potential scandals.
    What have I done to deserve all this?!
    I am just a simple writer – I really don’t ask for all this potential scandal.
    But, don’t forget, Speedqueen. We will still meet soon! If you haven’t been put off by that mangy Cat’s remarks in the meantime!

  33. when someone gets so obsessed with a subject the way you have cat makes me wonder if its because you have experienced such sure when David meets me he wont be dissapointed as i am all woman and his only problem will be finding the energy to return to his i suggest you put your claws away because your messing with a tigress

  34. Speedqueen, don’t forget that David is a vulnerable and innocent artiste and may not survive being ravished by a sensual tigress wearing motorcycle gear!

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1946 - 2019




From the vaults ...

A flashback to one of David’s comedic, profound or quizzical blog entries. Dive into the archives to find more gems. 

Who Really Cares . . .

Well quiet night tonight – no Gareth! He’s coming tomorrow instead. Actually, I’ve been racing ahead writing “The Trial” and I even surprised myself at