RIP + David Farrant 1946 - 2019 +

The Human Touch Blog ~
David Farrant

It Would Not Take A Brain Surgeon

Well, another day, another bizarre accusation regarding ‘my’ online activity. Have hardly had time to read up on it all as Della has been keeping me busy all day helping her measure up various outfits – or costumes I suppose I should say – for her newfound hobby of live action roleplaying.

I say new, but it is something she has been interested in for some time. It is only recently however that she has decided to go the ‘whole hog’ and get kitted out properly as she puts it. So today has been rather taken up with swords, chainmail, woollen dresses, coifs or whatever they are called and other horrors of a similar nature. Well if it keeps her happy it makes me happy – as long as I am not expected to dress up in a similar fashion! I certainly don’t miss my own “dueling days”.

However, I digress. Hot on the heels of the recent YouTube debacle – in which I was falsely accused by a malicious litigant of posting copyright material which was swiftly, rightfully and legally restored by YouTube itself – another strange accusation seems to have winged its way to the headquarters of the BPOS. Today I received a series of rather threatening – or perhaps I should say comical to be accurate – emails purporting to originate from a newly formed “society” calling itself – and I kid you not – the Yorkshire Robin Hood’s Grave Rescue Committee (Kirklees Cell) or some such nonsense.

The anonymous composers of these “menacing” emails – littered with references to my “dickipoggy actions”, “posthumous capdoffing” and “dispicable and diabolical character (sic)” are apparently insisting that I remove from Facebook “my” Facebook group – . How I can be a posthumous capdoffer when I am very much alive is unclear, although I presume this is the result of the authoress having received no formal education since she graduated from her local compehensive clutching a handful of E graded GCSEs. In anycase,  given the “Suspicious Minds” and general state of mental imbalance of two particular Yorkshire “lasses” who seem to spend most of their time obsessing about myself and/or Robin Hood and/or my wife, it would not take a brain surgeon to hazard a guess as to the origin of these emails. Obviously I have not replied to them, and mention them here for comedy interest more than anything else.

A cursory glance at the “offending” Facebook group however does shed some light as to the apparent plight in which these two fair damsels – well, damsels – oh ok, “females of the species” – now find themselves. It appears that an independent and well organised campaign is underway which aims to preserve for the pleasure and historical entitlement of the general populace the site around Robin Hood’s alleged grave at Kirklees, including the Tudor priory gatehouse, in context of the land’s imminent sale on the free market. Quite why this campaign, which is directly in line with the ambitions of the Yorkshire Robin Hood Society, would upset what may or may not be a satellite operation of the latter is beyond me. However upon closer inspection it appears that this popular, thorough and well thought out group – see – is being targeted for abuse simply because it has rejected any association with a group of local “nutters” which it considers to comprise “a few people headed up by a retired midwife who once wrote a very historically-twisted account of Robin Hood. The rest seem very disagreeable and their motives/sanity seem questionable”.

They were certainly receiving negative press from the retired midwife in question and her “loyal” (???!!!) handmaiden/puppetmaster before they even made the above statement, or referred to her “rival” group in any way. They clearly (and understandably) do not want an important campaign to be derailed by the kind of people who, for example, make flour bombs to throw at people at local fetes because they resent their film making ability/general happiness with their lives (you go figure it out if you can, I can’t!), or believe in shrieking vampire prioresses or sycophantically creep around vampire hunting bogus clerics.

Whatever, the official campaign to save the Kirklees site for the nation – the Kirklees Priory Association and it’s associated campaign “Save Kirklees Priory”  have my full support and I wish them the best of luck in their endeavors to preserve the site.  They seem to have everything it takes to achieve results by cooperation, perseverance and diplomacy. Perhaps the fact that in a few days this group has accumulated 442 likes on Facebook and 395 ‘talking about’s has invoked the green eyed monster in the people referred to by them thus:[blockquote] “[…] they are NOT the figureheads of the world regarding this matter for the public. They do NOT have the right to undermine any efforts or righteous inclinations of others. For nearly 300 years people have made efforts to protect this site including accurate historians.”

The campaign further clarifies their position with regard to the now very much diminished in membership and reputation YRHS with:

your scrutiny and opposition [which] just DOES NOT HELP Kirklees Priory to be saved. This page is only to try and unify worldwide support to this cause for reference purposes. Anything further will involve the Police

Hear, hear.  Should this group, no doubt comprised of hard working local people giving up their free time to protect and preserve their heritage for future generations, seek to link the dossier of harrassment towards my wife and myself with any Police complaint, I hardly think this will be a problem.
So – if you really care more about Robin Hood’s grave than getting your face in the paper, maybe leave it to the professionals for once, Babs? And concentrate on stopping that dickipoggy shade of a shirtless Errol Flynn from wafting in through your louvre windows. I’m sure he’s not a patch on Red Roger.

Oh, almost forgot to add my usual diary reference of  “any other news?”

Sorry, but there really isn’t any at the moment of interest … except, in regard to the ‘Robin Hood’ issue, I have just responded to the Brighouse Gala Committee, having to explain unsolicited correspondence they have recently received from persons living in the ‘Green belt’ – who not only know no one on said committee personally, but ran no stall themselves this year (or practically in living memory) and were not even present at this year’s fete.  Again, it is sad that people who work hard for genuine charitable causes such as this are plagued by “uncharitable nutcases” anxious only about their own ‘self-esteem’ and trying to interfere with the efforts of those who have no such agendas and are merely concerned with raising funds for those in need.

It seems sadly evident that such ‘care in the community’ cases are clearly not being offered the support they need by the local mental health facilities to lead productive lives.   What is of greater concern is that in some cases in West Yorkshire it seems that the government is now forcing such unstable people to carry out voluntary work with vulnerable people in order to keep their dole money coming in – especially if they are long term unemployed / seemingly unemployable.  The negative influence which such unqualified, bitter and aggressive people will inevitably have on the most vulnerable members of society does not bear thinking about, especially, when such means are forced upon these unfortunates as the only solution to keep their Giros secured – when they are the ones in need of critical intervention and professional help! Jesus, Mary and Joseph, talk about the blind leading the blind – lest they both “fall into a ditch”. I think everyone here is fully conversant with my meaning.

But again I am digressing a little, and must now away to my conjugal bed.

Tata (for now),


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1946 - 2019




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