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The Human Touch Blog ~
David Farrant

An Amusing Break!

Thought I’d have a ‘day off’ on here today (rather yesterday now) as I’ve been doing some pretty serious writing and I didn’t really want to be distracted.

Its not ‘normal’ writing when you can just write away as things come to you. It was ‘heavy’ in the sense that I was writing about my 1974 Old Bailey trial and there’s boxes of statements and transcripts to go through. Everything has to be accurate, even finicky things like times and dates. I hate doing it as it means concentration; and I don’t like having to concentrate on things which I don’t really want to remember. That said, its got to be done, so I’ll just carry on until the chapters are finished.

So, I was going to avoid getting mixed up with the Blog or replies today (sorry yesterday). Just a few quick checks to make sure everything was in order, and that was that. At least, until I looked around 2 am this morning, and what do I see? That blasted shaving brush is back again! So I thought, ‘just leave it’. Then I thought, well it might make a short ‘amusing break’! As usual, you can see that Cat is behind it – and when Cat’s behind anything, it doesn’t take Craig long to follow! So allow me to get in between!

There were no ‘orgies’ when Gareth and myself went to stay at Barbara’s house in Yorkshire in April 2005. In fact, we had a good two or three days there visiting nearby haunted sites, including Robin Hoods Grave. Most of the time, my friend (and Barbara’s friend, Drew) transported us around.
His shaving brush was inadvertently left behind in Barbara’s bathroom. She found it on the shelf but ‘chucked it in the bin’ thinking it wasn’t required. (Actually it was, but I bought Gareth a new one so no problem there).

And that is it really. Or maybe not quite!

A year later in October on Barbara’s birthday, she again had some guests, Gareth being one of them. The house was apparently quite full and people stayed overnight, some in beds some on a sofa, others in chairs or wherever they could find space. Gareth had his own tent in the garden where he slept ALONE (at least I think!).

Then stories of the party got out (and by the way, I did not go that year but remained in London), Cat and others got to hear about it, and suddenly, lo and behold!. We have accusations of a full-blown orgy on the Yorkshire Moors! Would that it were true. Otherwise do you think I would have remained in London?!?

For the moment,


9 Responses

  1. Hi David—just a few amendments. The shaving brush got left behind after the second visit not the first. JPL and Gareth, for some reason beyond my comprehension, didnt travel back to London together, by the time I had taken Sir Gareth to the station , and the pudding had gone,I just wanted to tidy up, thus my orgy of cleaning when everyone had gone–that was the only orgy taking place .And the sad loss of the shaving brush! I think the orgy was invented by your followers as an answer to another issue was on the “other” board about yourself and the puddings problems, whatever you call it, when things were going dickipoggy anyway and she was betwix loyalties and going publci with your personal details. Gareth was in the t ent anyway –in the back garden— and was doing his chanting right under my window–I dont think he was serenading me, it was to his ritual to his goddess, I dont know what the neighbours thought, it sounded like a fight between tom cats! I forget who was where– Carol was defintety in the little bedroom and my two daughters and grandaughter in the big bedroom with bunks and baby bed. I really havent a clue where everyone else was, presumably downstairs, they must have been–Drew, JPL and the pudding–I think that was everyone!
    I hope that clarifies the matter but it probably wont with people–and cats–with naughty minds due to their own naughty goings on in their lives, they think everyone is the same as they are!
    I hope the cat will shut up but he does it now and then to stiir things up and hopefully annoy me–well I presume thats his reason, I just think he is behaving like a naughty kitten or an frustrated old sourpuss.
    Hope you can get on with your book now without daft distractions
    tata barbara

  2. Allright, allright, no more about the shaving brush.
    Just one more thing, Barbara is rumoured to have drunk too much wine and “chased after” a fellow at that party for a kiss. Was the fellow Gareth? Or was it you?

  3. Oh for heavens sake, what next!!!! Rumoured by who????? Names please.You know something, have a go at the person whose dickipoggy personal life started all this hoo ha about my 60th birthday party. It wasnt my quarrel, I wasnt swapping boyfriends or friends that are boys around and hurling accusations of their incompetence and what not about , yet because I was on the sidelines I have been the one having to listen to a load of rubbish about me, my party, shaving brushes, and now this! Nothing happened, cat, get over it, find the right victim for your nasty mind! The shaving bush saga was stupid, tacky,sordid and not even amusing, and so are the rest of your dickipoggy ravings!

  4. Well I would still be interested to know where the rumour Cat mentioned has suddenly arisen from , either someone has been putting their tabloid, innacurate lurid fictional reportings out somewhere, or the source of the rumour has been “in touch” with a double agent mole—well there are two people out there who can be relied on to get nothing right, one because one of them appears to be a sausage short of a full english in such recollections and the other person because he deliberately fabricates, sexes up and lies, so betwix the pair you can be sure to get some preposterous tale.
    Take the malicious story of my house which went all over for several years, big black pentagrams, upstairs and downstairs etc.
    Or Cat might have just made it up, like the shaving brush joke.
    However ,I am certain the shaving brush story was nothing but a joke,so ha ha ha, okay I have been highly amused at your vivid imaginings round an inncocent shaving brush–good job it wasnt an electric one, hey, but soem of the other stuff is a bit more suspect, especially as Cat says he heard a rumour. So, who from? Or maybe he’s just codding.
    Right fellas that enough of the subject, and hope I have made myself clear,

  5. Well, you’re right about one thing Barbara; if that person hadn’t decided to go public with her sordid allegations, none of this could have happened. As you know, I didn’t complain but left them there as they really said far more about herself than they ever did about myself, and I wanted people to see them. They did, and she was made to take them down; well close the whole thing to be precise. I told the person at the time in a private email (which was on my computer), that I had absolutely no sympathy for her (about the comic book which came about because of her public allegations) because she had brought the whole thing upon herself.
    I mean, what can you really expect if a person chooses to go public and lend their support to bogus clergy who accuse everyone right left and centre of being Satanists, or supporting ‘Satanists’?
    Doesn’t take too much intelligence to see what might happen – and did happen in this case!
    For now,

  6. Why blame me? I did nothing wrong, seeing as I am in Cat Heaven and unable to influence material things. And in any case, erm, it was all Craig’s fault. He’s a bloody mixer he is. David, perhaps you can use your witchly powers to cast a “calming spell” on milady.

  7. I agree with one thing Cat. Craig was (still is!) much more persistant than you were (are!) but you aren’t exactly ‘blameless’! But Craig just didn’t like ‘the pudding’ (which is an apt term now apparently) after he saw how she betrayed everybody. So, in his own way, he was quite justified even though he made me clarify public issues about herself.
    Now, I hope you are not suggesting I use my ‘witchcraft powers’ on poor old Barbara! The only thing that could ‘calm her down’ is for you to stop mentioning that bloody shaving brush (whoops, now I have!!). Well, you said you’d desist, so we shall see!

  8. Bloody hell, why am I always getting blamed for these “rumours” which indeed originated from supposedly Good Christian Women who post bumf about David’s naughty bits on Yuwie and tot up 65 million fake hits, and all that???

  9. “And in any case, erm, it was all Craig’s fault. He’s a bloody mixer he is.”
    i hope you catch swine flu for that!
    i’m innocent and wasn’t even about.
    speaking of swine flu, do u think fat bloaters in eastbourne are more likely to cathc it?
    one can only hope.

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1946 - 2019




From the vaults ...

A flashback to one of David’s comedic, profound or quizzical blog entries. Dive into the archives to find more gems.