A House Divided …

Well, scarcely a day left to the dreaded Christmas now and I certainly will be glad when its over.

Its not just the last minute Christmas rush I refer to; it starts in September when shops and businesses start ordering Christmas merchandise, all foreseeing greedy profits.

That said, Della did leave everything to the last minute, and has just come back from the shops laden like a mule!  That said, she is a very busy person and apart from Christmas dinner, and some other essentials – such as port and brandy – she seems to have purchased  Sainsbury’s entire supply of cleaning products.  This seems to be some adverse reaction from having time off work.  I keep telling her to take a break and put her feet up (like I am) but she prefers to keep busy, so I just let her get on with it!

I’ve been very busy myself lately; what with trips to West Yorkshire and monitoring the progress of certain investments.  I can’t say too much about that at the moment, but apparently certain local officials have been so impressed by my contribution to the local community up there, that they commissioned a local artist to create a portrait  of myself which I am told is now hanging in the Lord Mayor’s private chamber.  As not many people have the opportunity to enjoy an audience with his worship in private, I asked if I could reproduce the commissioned piece here for the benefit of the wider public.  I really am charmed by the sentiment expressed in the image and hope that you all are as well, although inevitably, I am sure that it will not find favour in some of the remote areas in the Green belt! Actually, this is not really surprising as the Green Belt resident in question is notorious for blowing hot and cold at the slightest challenge to her ‘supremacy’ (at least, as she sees it!).

My friend Drew informs me that he spotted a reader’s letter in a small local newspaper recently, which indicated that this person’s now rather miniscule club – or should that be ‘one woman band’ ? –  is presently seeking yet another new Patron.  Drew considered applying himself, but later found out that the position had since gone to a ‘Swedish’ candidate who has apparently written  about the ‘Yorkshire Robin Hood case’ for several years, primarily via Blogs and forums.  He also co-admins a Facebook group called “Kirklees Scandals Past and Present” which has almost four members  . . . Well, I can only wish him the best of luck, although I doubt somehow (unlike myself) that he will be making any public appearances in support of his beloved cause!

As I mentioned, I am not a big fan of Christmas.  But that is not to say that I have a problem with Christianity or Christians in general –  ones that practice what they preach, that is.  I am married to a Roman Catholic, after all, and I don’t intend feeding her to the lions any time soon – at least not before she’s cooked my Christmas dinner!  In fact, she has just reminded me of a passage from the Gospel of St Matthew, which she feels could help the local mad woman begin to understand her present predicament . . .

“And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand”. [Matthew 12:25]. 

This advice, borne of ‘nowt’ but Christian charity, will no doubt fall on deaf ears.  But one can but try.

Well I’m off now to enjoy my pre-Christmas supper.  So at the risk of sounding contradictory . . . Happy Christmas everyone!  And peace and goodwill to all men, (and women!) whether they deserve it or not!

David Farrant.
PS And that goes for you for you as well, Anthony.