RIP + David Farrant 1946 - 2019 +

The Human Touch Blog ~
David Farrant

Well What’s New?

I can’t remember if I said here, but I finally got a new bed.

Problem is, its massive. I just didn’t realise that I’d chosen something so big! It didn’t look that big in the shop. You know, you could easily sleep six people in it with out anybody falling over the edge. Not that I intend to let six people sleep in it. But that’s just to give you some idea. But it’ll be handy if I do get people visiting and they have to stay, from out of London or abroad for example.
In fact, I prefer the smaller bed next door because if you wake up in the dark and reach out, at least you can touch something rather than just grabbing air. (no snide comments from you Cat, please, as I don’t mean THAT!). I think actually I’ll have to re-sell it and settle for something smaller. Lose some money, I suppose, but who really cares about that.

Well what’s new? It seems a certain Radio Show Page has been invaded with comments from the usual person adopting a fake alias. What is really funny is that he really thinks nobody can tell that its him when he just continues to speak in his normal aggressive language! A sad little man in reality. A man who is really a nobody, but is desperately trying to prove that he is a ‘somebody’. Why try and ‘prove’ to be something you’re not? Or as a certain Yorkshire Pudding (sorry Barbara for involving Yorkshire!) once said when publicly writing to this particular person . . . “At least David [myself] is consistent in what he says and doesn’t try to pretend to be something he’s not”. Quote of the year, that! Well, I’ve included it in my next book. It’s a classic!

I just thought I’d take a break from the writing (the second volume). Helps to get away from all that technical legal stuff. Got a glass of red wine to sip, but better be careful, as I realise I have not eaten anything today. Well I’m not hungry now. Which is just as well as I’ve hardly got any food in the place!

‘My’ Jane is on a long holiday at the moment (the person who interviewed me for my Talk before last). And I miss meeting her locally as we could do before. But I managed to get her a DVD of the Talk before she left. So hope she enjoys that anyway.

Well, better think about getting back to work. But cannot really sign off without referring to Cat’s classic near the end of my replies on my last Blog Post. He gave a link to something he’d created (a photograph, I mean) showing myself in the ‘Popemobile’ outside a faceless bungalow .somewhere on the South Coast. What I think is funny about it, is that he’s portrayed me as having ‘bullet-proof glass’ all around me! Come on Cat – nobody really hates me that much . . . do they??!!

For now,


39 Responses

  1. Not meaning to wreck your blog. Post the link or just forward it to Cat, Barbara and Craig, but I found this on the internet!
    “Net Curtain Lurkers”
    [Thanks Flo. I have forwared your Internet link to Cat, Barbara and Craig but have suspended it just for the moment as it links to real names including my own. Mine, I do not mind but this is directly linked on that Blog to Bonky’s, so I just want to seek advice on it But I have copied it and called it just for the moment “Net Curtain Lurkers” [as above]. If I get the okay from Karen on this, I will publish the link but I just need advice on it!. Please ‘bear with me’ which is the saying Barbara so fondly likes! But found the Blog extremely enlightening. David]

    1. Have just sent the link out privately, Flo, and will tell you when I get some reaction – which shouldn’t be too long! For the moment,

  2. – “‘bullet-proof glass’ all around me! Come on Cat – nobody really hates me that much . . . do they??!!”
    Consider that a couple years ago “vampire hunting kits” appeared for sale on eBay. Photos of these showed they included the usual “bonky” stuff like crucifixes and holy water, but they also featured more dangerous things like sharpened sticks and metal daggers – and some even included a pistol and “silver” bullets. As you may recall, The Bonky One has proudly displayed his own such “kit” in filmed interviews. Do you really want to risk being hit by a bullet, a dagger, or even a sharp stick?
    I think Craig could bodge together a workable Popemobile enclosure for your travels!

  3. And in case you think I’m joking about the pistol and the bullets, here is a link showing an example of these “vampire killing kits”:

    1. Look Cat! Are you really suggesting that the ‘bonkey one’ would dare visit me with that commercialised case tucked under his arm?! Its all he’d dare do to just ring the door bell! And then he’d very quickly scarper if ever I came to the door!
      I have already publicly invited him to appear, but so far, the silence has been ‘deadly quiet’ (excuse the pun’!)
      No, I don’t think you will see Bonky around Highgate for a long time again. I think maybe the real vampire stories (or the imaginary ‘vampire stories’) ‘scared him off!
      It seems now he has only reverted to ‘Yorkshire cooking receipts’ to do his dirty work for him. That way he thinks he can possibly ‘keep his hands clean’. While the ‘chef of the cooking’ is clearly tied to the dirty sink!
      For now,

  4. you know, i’m pretty sure that dr bishop lord dickhead once said something about wanting to revolutionise the hand stake – something about how mobile fones had got smaller, so should the stake.
    …yeah cos i can see apple working on an iStake as we speak.
    complete with 3G and GPS vampire locator.
    what a cock.
    i remember him showing off his vampire huting kit.
    for a man who has killed “scores of vampires” it’s funny how the ‘kit’ looks immaculate as if its never seen any action outside of the bedroom.
    maybe it was used in that low budget home video “sean and the whore of venus”.
    maybe u can torrent it on piratebay…
    Craig Guevara
    Viva La Stake

  5. “If I am remembered for nothing else I hope to be remembered for revolutionising the hand held stake” is what Bonky wrote in in interview in Blood Lust by Carol Page–who he went dickipoggy over her depiction of him–skin tight breeks and spurs in a London cafe, he wouldnt pay for the coffee and did nothing but brag–he went bananas with ehr! But the quote was in italics at the beginning of the chapter–what on earth is the alternative to a hand held stake–a foot held one? I’ll try to find the book and get the words just right but I am sure I am not far off!
    ps whats the curtain link Florence–please send ie

  6. Hi David,
    “Arminius” had gone totally over the top this morning so I had to ask Steve to remove his posts – I know you often work late so would not be up early. Steve agreed that the whole thread was unsuitable for the site and it has been deleted.
    I hope you don’t think I was sticking my oar in, but If “Arminius” wants to accuse you like that he can do it using his real name or not at all!
    I enjoyed the interview by the way 🙂
    Best Wishes,

  7. Who is peeking out from behind net curtains? Bonky? Dumpling? Craig? Moi? Here in Cat Heaven I’ve not received the promised email containing amusing links, so sadly, I cannot share in the current jollity and merriment!

  8. This is absurd. Now Bonky is saying;
    “and if you extract [Bonky] from Farrant’s life he becomes a poorly educated non-entity without any skills who nobody would notice. It is only by exploiting and riding on the coat-tails of [Bonky] that Farrant has any public life. ”
    What utter self- important tosh!

  9. he’s just like a lady boy having a tantrum ! Oh you are awful, titter ye not !
    As I said before, he’s pathalogical! The boot is on the other foot, Bonky doesn’t have any existence without David, its like me and my shadow, waltzing down the avenue etc! Psychic Siamese Twins, poor David, one of those conjoined twins where one is a parasite ( Bonky) feeding on the other.

  10. so seanie, how many blogs/forums/msn/mulitply kiddie groups have u dedicated to the non-entity?
    bitter, lonely, pathetic pensioner arent u.
    Craig Byron

      Sorry for holding your link Flossie but I know K is watching his antics very closely and she’d asked me not to do anything in this direction without first consulting her. I have now and she said most Blogs allow links provided these abide by the rules and regulations and Internet Protocal. Yours does; in fact it proves whatBarbara and Craig said about the person being obsessed with myself.
      Slight problem is, I seem to have lost it on my system so could I ask you to re-post it so that people can have a laugh! That was Cat can get it also. (I did email it to him last night so don’t know what happenned).
      Sothat’s fine.
      For now

    2. FOR ALEX,
      That’s fine Alex I didn’t mind you contacting Steve (and your right I didn’t see it being asleep!).
      What I still fail to comprehend is how the person in question just can’t see that everyone knows that its reallly him! Every time he open his mouth he puts his big foot in it by just repeating the same invented material that he has used (under multiple aliases) so many times in the past.
      But thanks for trying to help. Sorry, you did help by getting that thread deleted with all his most unChristian garbage on it. Thanks.

    Unfortunately you’re right, Barbara. If you removed myself from the person’s morbid life, he just would’nt have one!
    Much as I would hate to see anyone living a meaningless, boring life without me, I just wish some people could find another ‘hobby’ to occupy themselves!
    To give her her due, the pudding has by joining the Church. That would be fine, but she’s even taken me there with her! You just can’t win!

  12. Ah….I found it, Flo. All you need do is google “Net Curtain*s* Lurkers”, not “Net Curtain Lurkers”. Very funny, David.

  13. Barbara and Craig – email me at [email protected] and you will get the link. I don’t have your email or I would do so directly. I’d like that Alex fellow to email me the link to Arminius’ latest rantings. I’d like to forward the info to the Lone Stranger.
    PS – My email will self destruct in 3 days. Contact me fast!

  14. Thanks David–a good idea to address all the rubbish on his what is it interloping charlaton blah blah insult site, though again a waste of time in one way as it will not be apprecaited by Bishop Cloth Ears who as we know is incapable of reflection, self analysis or reflection on his behaviour and overwheening pride, etc, he will never face the music, let alone dance. I have got to sort out a google whatsit to post, but its a good idea to start naming the message boards he’s been on anc chucked off. To name but a few
    World Wife Robin Hood Society Site also shut down, due also to GKB, another idiot.
    Blue Boar Inn
    Bizarre Abyss
    Mystery Magazine
    Fortean Times
    Ghosts UK
    These spring to mind but if I consult my paper files there are loads more!
    tata barbara

    1. Don’t forget the Randi Forum and Nocturnal Frequency Radio Barbara, and there’s loads more of course.
      I can ask you this here: Alex has asked for your email. OK to send this to him? Apparenty ‘somebody’ has been saying very nasty things about you!
      For the moment

  15. Hi David,
    Do you have an email for Barbara Please. His nibs has just posted something that I don’t want to repeat on here but Barabara should be aware of.
    Alex Berger,
    Cardinal of Stone Henge.

  16. Sadly, it’s all been deleted so never mind.
    It was just more guff about Barbara not being a “proper” Catholic. Pot, Kettle, Black me thinks 🙂

  17. Thats fine David to give Alex my e mail address. I had already crossed s words with Bishop Lady-boy over his vampire hunting “kit”–honestly, you’ve certainly set the cat among the pidgoens–didnt take him long to find it did it? I have got a couple more going on but I dont think he’s found them yet—mustny have cos he would have posted blah blah
    tata for now

    1. ALEX
      I have just sent you Barbara’s email to the email address I have here.
      Barbara can you send me what he said afterwards?
      Thanks to you both

  18. Very humourous blog, what a larf. I see Cousin Hoggy from Ozzie is about. You can always depend on that spunky little fellow to keep the heat on urgent topics like small inconsistencies in statements made 30 years ago, or who copied whose screen name on the internet.
    But I may stay here, however, lest David feel abandoned!

    1. I have just gone on the new Blog “Net Curtain Lurkers” to say a quick hello Cat. Well, as I am the star of it I thought it only polite!

      1. FOR ALEX
        Your email was returned for some reason. Please send your email in a reply here marked private and I will try it again.
        For now,

  19. Sorry David,
    There was a typo in my mail. I have decided to post here what was said recently by our friend “Arminius”. I know people here respect Barbara and won’t take any notice of that silly buffoon.
    “Barbara Green is not a genuine Catholic. You must surely know that already. She joined the Church to harass some people in Yorkshire who used the Church she joined. Everyone knows that was her reason. This makes her membership invalid in many ways because her intention was morally unacceptable.
    You must ask why a supposed Catholic would openly support someone like David Farrant? The fact is they wouldn’t do so in a month of Sundays. If Barbara Green was truly a Catholic she would steer clear of Farrant or, at least, point out to him that his behaviour is sinful and wrong.”
    What a low-life that man is.

  20. The following “veiled threat” was made on facebook directed against David. I’m repeating it here should David wish to consider further action:
    Farrant has made more enemies than I’ve had hot dinners. He has people after him and isn’r [sic] even aware of it most of the time. What did he imagine would happen when he used coded language to identify people on the internet he called the “Chestnuts” based in Essex? He has made some very serious enemies in that quarter. He appears too dense to realise it.
    What did he imagine would happen when he lied about the source of confidential court documents he illegally published on the internet. Both people identified by Farrant are now after him, having categorically denied they provided him with the documents which he obtained illegally by deception. Because he has got away with so much for so long, Farrant does not understand that the day will come when someone eventually catches up with him.
    What about the female he constantly names as being the real identity of “Lusia”? She wasn’t “Lusia,” of course, but doesn’t he realise she has family who are now after him? Does he think he can just name people on the internet and falsely attribute things to them without any consequence?
    These are merely the tip of the iceberg of a growing number of people who would happily deal with Farrant if they ever came face to face with him. Were it not for the fact that he is seen as a pathetic freak who is his own worst enemy, someone would have found and confronted him a long time ago.
    Posted on Jun 7th by “Arminius Vambery”.

    1. I just wonder how the genuine Priest would react Alex if he knew she was allowing bogus clergy to post threats on her Facebook site. In fact more than ‘allowing’ them, more like encouraging them.
      I might just make him aware of the situation very soon so he can see what the person is up to again.
      What a world, isn’t it. And these people proclaim to be Christians!
      For now,

  21. If anyone ever does turn up and “confront” David they will have me to deal with. I don’t take prisoners.

  22. I’m not going to post anymore from Catherine’s evil facebook site as I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of thinking I care.
    As for her rejecting my “friend” request she made a total bodge of it. I’ve read her profile and all the information is now known. If I were her I’d think more carefully about what I posted from now on.

  23. Okay, here’s the truth of why I became a Roman Catholic. For many years I have wanted to become one but dithered. IN 2005 I was accused by a particularly unchristian Catholic woman of not giving her mum, who ws on her deathbed, a bed bath. This woman could not even lift a finger to wash her mums hands and face.Apparently she had sat all night just staring at her. Anyway she caused me a lot of trouble at work. I understand how some people cant cope but this was a guilty consience striking out.Its a long story. My nurse friend who is a RC invited me to her church as she ahd told the priest–the same one–this story and he knew what a set of trouble makers this family was, he was very sympathetic. When C who came to stay at my house every weekend, as we know, was told by me I was going to church the next weekend she invited herself. I said she couldnt do that as she was a Pagan. Anyhow she came and promptly fell for the priest. You know the rest. The nasty people were there and it is true, I was very happy to see them made uncomfortable by my presence, and the priest was all for it.Well actually they may not have cared, as they were quite stuck up people who thought they were better than anyone else.But the Church and the priest were very supportive of me during this awful time.
    So there you have the tale in a few words, the real story and not C’s dickipoggy version. And now as a result for this continued mistelling of a number of situations in which both myself and C were involved, I shall do what I said I would do over the promise box pack of lies.

  24. the problem with facebook is that it is piss easy to hack…if one were that way inclined.
    it’s in the apps chaps…
    anyway, who is in essex David?
    is it that bloke in basildon or over that way?

    1. anyway, who is in essex David?
      is it that bloke in basildon or over that way?

      Yes, that’s the one Craig, who used to work at the swimming pool before its closure. He ordered one of my books once but I had to cancel his cheque when I realised the bonkers one had put him up to it. I still have his letter though!

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1946 - 2019




From the vaults ...

A flashback to one of David’s comedic, profound or quizzical blog entries. Dive into the archives to find more gems. 

Close Empathy

Had a late visit from K yesterday evening which cheered me up considerably. Not that I was really upset about anything, but just glad of