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The Human Touch Blog ~
David Farrant

"Put A Sock In It!"

I was having a clear up today (due to some furniture replacements) and you’ll never guess what I found?!? A grotty old bed-sock which somebody must have left on her frequent weekend stays a decade or so ago now, when she’d leave the Green Yorkshire Dales to brave my infamous company.

Anyway, it was made of scratchy black wool, and adorned with white rubber butterflies and ‘little girly-type’ flower petals.

Well, at least it wasn’t another pair of knickers! But Della was still extremely repugnated by the offending object, and immediately went and deposited it in the bin (and she said she’d do the same to the other one if she came across it!). I did try to explain to her that I made allowances for this person’s choice of nightwear, usually unisex, and subsequently she used to bring all sorts of strange things with her. I remember once she even brought her own hot water bottle, because I’d lost my spare one, as far as I remember. But apart from clothes she also brought me a lot of occult paraphernalia, such as a  black pentacle and crystal ball which I still have on the mantle piece. Presumably this was done in an attempt to endear herself to me, but it was also an attempt to disguise – or rather to hide – her own Pagan leanings from her new found interpretation of Christianity.  Apparently, she had often been reminded about this on Internet sites (about the fact she was studying for her Ist Degree Initiation into Wicca whilst having already changed to the Christian Church to which she invariably replied that she ‘could have the best of both worlds’ until she got her religion sorted out!). She also gave me a book which she had purchased for own enjoyment on ‘vampires’, but had subsequently decided that she could no longer tolerate the presence of the author’s ‘esteemed works’ in her own house – well I felt the same about that particular tome, I can assure you!

So the finding of the odd sock in a box of old tat, did nothing to appease my beautiful Della – not that she minded the actual sock itself, in fact; more that she didn’t want unwanted ‘reminders’ of a period when certain people by their very own acts of complicity attempted to make my life hell – lurking in our own house!  Well, she said that, but I think she was being kind in a way to the owner of the sock. She does have a particular disdain for women who ‘don’t try to bring out the best in themselves’ – and then whinge about the consequences! It wasn’t entirely my fault really.  I just sometimes take a long time in sorting things out, and sometimes put off undesirable tasks for as long as possible! Especially things that have been discarded for eventual sorting out in the junk box before they end up in landfill.  So I better ‘put a sock in it’ now as I suppose I have gone on about the ‘vile article’ as Della described ‘it’ long enough.

Now, on to more important things; the interview with myself and Mark Pilkington (as mentioned recently on my Blog here) is now virtually finished – or should I say its editing is. All that has to be sorted out is a few timelines for the recording and it will be available very soon. But, as I said, I’ll let you know.

Heard from my friend Drew again a couple of days ago, (the film producer who lives in West Yorkshire) and pleased to say I’ll be meeting him again in London in the not too distant future. Even ‘more pleased’ in fact, because he is bringing some more old film footage – and some new editing software – which he wants to demonstrate for some old archive projects. So please watch out again for those soon as well. No ‘thousands of takes’ here; if I use the material at all it would all be condensed for the purposes of a short spoof film – thus presumably fulfilling the intentions or desires of some of the participatees.

But all will be revealed in due course.

Little tired tonight again, so won’t prolong this as Della is in the process of cooking dinner. Understand its aubergine lasagna tonight, just for a change. Of course we’ve got some suitable bottles of wine to accompany it! I’ll let you all know if I enjoy it – and dessert of course! But then that goes without saying!

Bye for now,


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1946 - 2019




From the vaults ...

A flashback to one of David’s comedic, profound or quizzical blog entries. Dive into the archives to find more gems.