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The Human Touch Blog ~
David Farrant

It Is All Very ‘Hush Hush’ At The Moment

Drew Hartley and David Farrant getting down to business © Della Farrant

Della and I are just having a well deserved afternoon off today, although it wasn’t really ‘off’ as we had quite a few letters to complete to local councillors, the Brighouse Gala and Rotary Club, the Todmorden Dog Action Group and Calderdale MPs.

The reason, you may ask ? Well apparently two local ladies up in West Yorkshire have been libeling my name (and that of Della) in connection with my investigation into Robin Hood’s grave at Kirklees, and my recent invitation to the Brighouse Gala next year (in fact I had been invited this year but just couldn’t make it, having to give an important Talk at the Pendle Witch Convention on June 16th).

These two ladies, one of whom is known in and around Brighouse as ‘the local mad woman’, have been spreading – with a vengeance – Coronation Street type gossip to all and sundry (including the Halifax Courier) and I felt that the matter had to be addressed to put the facts straight. Well lets wait and see what happens; or more precisely what happens to them when they meet one or more of the aforementioned persons to spread more of their malicious propaganda. Boy, would I love to be a harmless fly on the wall, in one of those offices!  I have told all the people concerned that they have my permission to give these two ladies a copy of my letter in order that they can read it for themselves. I do not believe in ‘going behind people’s backs’; not withstanding that this is precisely what they have been doing.

Anyway, that took a couple of hours of this afternoon’s time, but now we can go back to more important things which merit more serious attention.  Had a rather long BPOS meeting yesterday, at which some members had to give their votes and opinions via conference call as they were in other parts of the country and unable to attend in person. It wasn’t too heavy going tho, as it did devolve into somewhat of a party, on account of it being ‘Champagne Week’ at Nicolas Wines on Muswell Hill Broadway, which Della is over the moon about. She does have rather expensive tastes, and even though many of the bottles were almost half price, unfortunately for me it was a case of ‘baby see baby want’!

It makes a nice change, but I do find that wines work out considerably cheaper. We do spend ten or twelve pounds on a bottle of wine when there are no  people here (which is rarely). It might not seem much, but it sure adds up of an evening – and night – if we get through three or four bottles. But what Della wants, she must have! And at least everyone else benefited from her indulgence (or rather my indulgence of her). In fact it looks like its going to be one of those nights again tonight as Della has a late start tomorrow so we can go to bed a bit later.

Br Drew was here last night and the night before. Also present at the BPOS meeting were Br Gareth, Br Lionel, Br Dave, Br Ricky,  and Sr Patsy among others I cannot name for security reasons.  Drew has now returned to West Yorkshire as its quite a long trip back. He said he didn’t mind traveling on Sundays so much as there was not so much traffic. He had some important film industry meetings to attend in London, and was glad to get back to Della’s homemade shepherds pie yesterday after a hard day’s work. We never know what time he is going to get out of his meetings, but that doesn’t matter as we have keys to each other’s houses for convenience sake.

As a long standing committee member of the Brighouse Gala, he has also agreed to help me sort out a couple of issues regarding 2013’s extravaganza. Well, its not really an ‘extravaganza’ as such, but it is an important date for the Gala, as this when they will be re-electing old committee members or inaugurating (if that’s the word) new ones by ballot in the extremely near future. It really has been good seeing so much of Drew lately, as he, Della and myself and never seem to run out of things to do together.

On the matter of the development proposal regarding Robin Hood’s Grave at Kirklees, it is all very ‘hush hush’ at the moment, as the two ladies I mentioned appear bent upon hijacking any proposals that could improve the area. But I am hoping that in the next few days certain issues will be finalised, and the consortium will allow me to publish some basic details about how things are moving forward. Have to wait for authorisation to do that though, as cannot betray confidences after I have been chosen to take on a supervisory role in our joint enterprise.

Looking forward to dinner tonight, which will be served about 9pm. For starters we are having homemade hummus, yoghurt and mint dip, stuffed olives and crudités; and Della is preparing asparagus and fenni blintzes with organic pork chops and chantenay carrots for the main. And miraculously there is still half a crate of champagne left so we won’t go thirsty!
Incidentally, I have had quite a few queries about ‘Tubby’, the porcine mascot recently purchased by my cricket club when they visited Selby.

Well, he’s doing fine, and has become quite a tourist attraction in North Hertfordshire. The two ducks were extremely pleased to be released into the pond after their long journey, and seem quite happy there, exploring every nook and cranny. Last I heard they were swimming round with twigs and other vegetation in their beaks (bills?) making peculiar sounding duck calls so this may herald the future hatching of some lovely fluffy little ducklings. They are really getting quite tame, and one of them – the female – will actually take a piece of bread from people’s fingers. I don’t think  I will risk that, next time I am invited back to the club! Cute as they may be, I do  prefer my duck roasted with a red wine jus, but that is not to say they are not both very endearing.

So I shall leave you now as Della is summoning me (not with a gong – just a call from the kitchen!) – and just keep watching this space!

For now,


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1946 - 2019




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