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The Human Touch Blog ~
David Farrant

In Retrospect

When I get another cheesecloth shirt, I’ll feel a lot better – rather more at home.

I am not completely ‘cheeseless’ though. I should have mentioned I still have a treasured one somebody (yes, alright, a girl) gave me as a birthday present in 1972. (No, forget it Cat, don’t even think about asking – age that is!).

Small story to that just in case anybody’s interested, though I doubt it. Many years later (about 5 or 6 years ago I think) another young lady stayed here for a short while, and one day she came in with it and said . . . “I’m throwing this out because the back’s all torn”. Sure enough it had about a six inch tear in it at the back from where it had been hanging in the wardrobe. (Don’t ask me how that happened, I just don’t know).

“No, don’t do that”, I told her, “I want to keep that, it was a birthday present”. She just shrugged and put it back.

One day when she wasn’t there, I took it to the tailors in Muswell Hill and asked him to patch it. He told me he couldn’t because he didn’t have any material like it. I told him to just put a soft white cotton patch on it (it was white). “If you want”, he said looking a bit surprised. He did, and I collected it a couple of days later.

Now, you could easily see by looking at it that the material doesn’t match, but I was so pleased to have just saved the shirt, that I just didn’t really care. Only thing was, I realised that I could never really wear it without a jacket over it. And I have worn it for interviews many times since then, and nobody has even known the difference. That is a true story, and I have one video of me wearing it for a TV interview to prove it.

So, what’s new (or rather old) apart from that? Well, I had to tidy the place up a bit last night, as I knew I was having a visitor today. I know the house is in a state and most of its not my fault, but there are certain things I couldn’t really have made excuses for, like papers scattered on the floor, for example, and some dusty surfaces. (no, don’t worry, I didn’t forget that ugly old witch statue; that went in a cupboard!). I really must hurry up getting that girl. Having to do things like that, stops me from writing.

Somebody once told me that us authors can sometimes be exocentric; maybe, but that’s surely better than being senile!

Gareth has switched back to Friday tomorrow. Which I don’t mind as I want to ask him to do some more typing.

The book is racing along (well, all of them) and will hit the shops and wholesalers before too long. I don’t really care if anybody makes a ’fuss’ about it, as that will only promote sales. Well, its quite likely. Some people are making a fuss about it now, and they don’t even know what’s in it! But I kid thee not; some people will be surprised to learn the true version of past events. Events which can never be changed however much other people might wish to change history. The politicians try to do that all the time, I suppose. But the difference is, I’m not writing about politicians!

Phone call earlier from somebody about ’baby-sitting’. Wrong number (only one digit out) but she had such a nice voice. We must have spoken for about a minute getting it sorted out. In retrospect maybe I should have mentioned the cleaning job. Well maybe I still can. I know her name and have ’met’ her now; even if only like that over the telephone.

Could have done with her last night!

For the moment,
David

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5 responses

  1. Oh I’m sure you could have done with her last night. To tidy up of course. As for cheesecloth, why not go to a linen shop and buy a great bolt of cheesecloth material and wear it as a robe? You can simply wrap yourself in it, like the Indian swamis do. (Be sure to wear some knickers underneath, as it is coming on winter!) Miaow.

  2. I tried to do that before Cat brain, but they just don’t sell it anymore.
    By the way, I don’t know where you got it your tiny head that I’m some sort of guru. I don’t think too much of gurus, especially after meeting so many people who have come to me for help or advice over the years after being involved in some Cult or other.
    My advice has always been never to look to other people to acquire ‘enlightenment’ or spiritual understanding. Start by looking at yourselves; that’s the real secret.
    ‘Babs the Witch’ is still in the cupboard where I put it so my visitor wouldn’t see it this afternoon.
    At least it can’t give me the ‘evil eye’ in there!
    David

  3. Get the Babs The Witch statue out of the flat. Put it on the roof if you can. Whatever you do, don’t put it in the loo, as she is perfectly capable of hexing your todger.

  4. Glory Be! That’s a frightening thought!
    Looking at its ugly moulded old face though, its easy to believe anything!
    Yes. I think the situation calls for immediate action. Not quite sure of the solution yet. Suppose I could always hurl the thing into the Thames next time I go into town, or even throw it into some local cement mixer.
    Its got to go, that’s for sure!
    David

  5. No, don’t hurl Babsy into the river, she’ll foul the shipping lanes, choke off trade and plunge the country into recession. And it will be all your fault.

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