Gareth J. Medway And The Case Of The Apporting Bra Strap

Some people came round after dinner last night, and we had a relaxing evening, just generally discussing things and catching up on the good ol’ Internet. My friend and film producer Drew from Yorkshire was here for a couple of nights, and Gareth came along with Doug and Susan, some friends Gareth met through my old friend Kenny Frewin the other week.

Kenny drove over again last night, but it was easier for the others because they only live in Highgate. I think everyone was generally surprised at the amount of in-fighting and bitchiness which is going on between various  occult groups on the Internet (well, it is going on between all sorts of groups including political and religious ones, but we were only really interested in stuff relating to ghosts and the paranormal). One particular website we noticed is a local one to Highgate, called The Kentish Towner.

There appears to be a barrage of malicious disinformation on there ‘attacking’ my involvement in the Highgate ‘vampire’ case. Its all being done by a ‘gentleman’ using an alias of course, so that he can hide his real name and thus save being associated with his comments. Gareth wanted to make a post (which he did as he does not have access to the Internet) and after that had been dealt with we all had a good laugh at some of the other comments. One particular lady on there who is a tour guide at London’s Highgate Cemetery really appears to have ‘gone over the top’. She was alleging that myself and this other ‘gentleman’ had been solely responsible for attracting all the vandalism and hooliganism which has taken place in the cemetery, and for the state of the cemetery in recent decades.

When Kenny saw this latest post (and you can all read it if you want) he burst out laughing and remarked that we (that is myself and the Bonky gentleman) were virtually being held responsible for all the damage to the cemetery dating back from WW1; all the lead theft from coffins over the decades; the bomb damage from WW2; the laying off of all the gardeners from then until the 1970s; and all the activities of vandals who were breaking open vaults there and purportedly practicing Black Magic.  I suppose I can understand Kenny’s amusement at these gross errors – after all, HE was living in Highgate at the time. Personally I really find it quite funny; Kenny remarked that I really MUST be a vampire if I was capable of carrying out all that years before I was allegedly born, and latterly while I wasn’t even living in the country.

Anyway, enough of all that, although it does have its comedy value. But there was more comedy value to follow afterwards, when we all settled down to some wine and a Chinese takeaway. It was excellent food, and very quick delivery, but when the bell went I didn’t go down to the door which mean’t  I avoided giving him a tip. I mean, we don’t all have £3million in the reserves account like Highgate Cemetery does these days, do we! The vampire tourism industry – which it is in all but name, judging by the comments one reads about what motivates visitors to pay £12 for a rushed tour – really does seem to be proving lucrative. Kensal Green Cemetery, on the flipside, which lacks the notoriety and paranormal associations of its sister cemetery is nowhere near finding itself in the Financial Times Rich List. Only kidding, I gave him a tip really out of my “ill-gotten gains”. I am quite generous really which most of my friends will attest to.

This was where it began to get a little funny, although some might say almost unbelievable.

In the middle of a conversation concerning the fairer sex, something prompted Gareth to reach into his waistcoat pocket, purportedly to find a handkerchief. Well he got that safely, but in its aftermath a lady’s bra strap (or part of a lady’s bra strap) fell from his pocket onto the chair in full view of all present. Well Della and I were not surprised by this, as the same ‘accident’ happened a couple of weeks ago, but everyone else was very intrigued (which I suspect might be the desired effect). Despite an exhaustive campaign and interrogation we have been unable to trace the owner of the mystery bra strap, and to this end managed to snap a picture of Gareth exhibiting his trophy for inspection.

Is this YOUR bra strap??  Do you recognise it?? If so please email [email protected] so we can reunite it with its owner and obtain a full and frank report as to how it came into Gareth’s possession. Because Gareth ain’t saying – and all we can get out of him is a Mona Lisa smile. And without a testimonial we will be unable to blackmail Gareth into starring in this year’s BPOS Hallowe’en Special.

Well that’s it for now – have a load of other people over tonight so better go and prepare for the invasion.

For now,

David