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The Human Touch Blog ~
David Farrant

Until 1st April . . .

Well, well, well! I wasn’t going to write anything today, but guess what happened?! My dear friend Craig turned up very late afternoon today with a couple of his mates from work.

Well, nobody was more surprised than me, even though they did phone a little before to say they were in the area, and could they come over? They phoned from Belsize Park, from Karen’s in fact, and wanted to know if I was ‘okay’ at such short notice. They had been working on a certain project in Hampstead, and were extremely excited about it when they came over – indeed, that’s why they wanted to see me.

I can’t wait to tell the rest of you about it, but at this stage, I am afraid it must still be a secret, until the first of April. Then everything will be known – in its glorious entirety. Craig had not changed much since I first met him at my talk in May 2007. His mates I did not know (well, had never personally met them before), but they both seemed nice people. We all chatted for a couple of hours, and Craig confirmed they would all be coming to my next talk on the Highgate case next Halloween. I know it’s a long way off, but time really does seem to fly so quickly some times, and before you know it, I’ll be looking forward to yet another one!

They had only been gone some half hour, before my friend Gareth routinely turned up. He had not met any of them (although I believe he had met Craig at the talk), which is a slight pity. For Gareth may not be involved in the ‘technical side’ of the project, but he certainly knows all about it! And anyway, I brought him up to date.

Anyway, just a short post; and this will act as an excuse for me having to write anything tomorrow.

That will bring me ‘slap up to date’ for Sunday. Which is funny really, because I know how much a few people really cannot stand me touching on religion. So until Sunday everyone,
David.

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32 responses

  1. wow i get namechecked ina blog!!! fame!
    it was real nice meeting u again david and my mates werw well impressed with the framed book covers and everything.
    it was short notice i know but when k said she had to phone u i thought i’d give u a suprise. lol.
    we’ll all b back in the area next friday again so if ur free we can come over or u can meet us at the local pub for a drink or two.
    …the woodsman 😉
    mark wanted me to say that that vampire hunters companion book was shit. ity had nothing to do with vampire hunting and everything to do with banging on about how evil david farrant was.
    what a rip off!!! but we all had a laugh at those pictures.
    theres one where hes stanidng outside a church with a cross in the dark trying to look mysterious.
    IT WASNT EVEN HIS CHURCH!!!
    its like when ur a kidand u stand next to a flash car and have ur picture taken to pretend its urs.
    that nutters like that woith other poeoples churchs!!
    anyway good to meet u again and the scrap books were appreciated bny all.
    cheers
    Craig (along with Mark, Gary & Emily!)

  2. yeah cat stop picking on the wizard of muswell hill!!!
    next ul b wanting duels at dawn.
    speaking of which that pic of bonkers lieing on the floor pretending to be dead with blood coming from out of his head was so funny i almost spilt my can. and that “please send money to have hois body brought back to the uk” was unreal!!! surely thats called FRAUD!!!!!
    cheeky beggar.
    anyway cat r u ever going to come to davids place? itd be cool to meet u as well. maybe we can arrange a time when leather chick speedqueen is there as well. she’ll finally be able to get the last piece for her cat’o 8 tales….
    cheers
    Craig

  3. Thanks, but not sure about Friday, Craig. (Easter and all that).
    You would be welcome to come over here again though; maybe you would even get to meet Gareth (or “Count Dracula” as he is sometimes affectionally known”).
    Email me about that in the week anyway; and glad to meet you again. Even if it is at the influence of K’s ‘forceful hand’!
    You really are welcome again if you want.
    But that is perhaps best left to emails. Congrats. to Gary and Emily. They really did make a happy couple!
    For now anyway,
    David

  4. Cat, What on earth are you on about?
    I’m not Irish I’m not even English either! Just a “Disciple of Life” as I believe I said on on of my videos.
    You are beyond help sometimes!
    David

  5. I have always been considered a ‘bit of a mystery’ there, Cat. Nobody has ever really been able to figure out my nationality, religion or even my age!
    You will just have to keep guessing there I’m afraid. Suffice it is to say that I’m nowhere near 70 as has been likewise frivilously stated!
    Now, get back to just being plain rude with all your sexist comments. Its somehow more reassurring!
    David

  6. Thanks Craig,
    And glad you enjoyed yourselves.
    But PLEASE stop encouraging Cat. It was an unexpected celebration of events, I know, but I have NOT invited the mangy moggie, although the invitation is open again to you and your friends.
    Its enough to have to deal with him on here surely, without actually having to meet him (‘it’!) in my flat.
    Lord give me mercy!
    For now,
    David

  7. I would love to see photos of Bonky pretending to be fatally stabbed in a duel with David! Also the ‘posed’ sword fighting shots of the two geezers in their lacy edwardian shirts. Why have these not been published before? Someone is not doing their job methinks.
    Craig you sulky nerk. I refuse to attend David’s flat until he makes it “cat friendly”. That is, brings in soft featherbed lined basket and pillows to curl up on and catnip toys. And fresh milk in the fridge. Miaow.

  8. cat email me at [email protected] and i’l sort u out with a copy first chance i get.
    its classic. its black and white with bonkers on the floor with a sword next toi him and some bloke is about to put a coat over him and theres this really stupid bit of fake blood put on the side of his head.
    50 quid bonkers comes out with some made up fantasy dstory about how it was an reenactment or something.
    i suppose that letter begging for money for his body to be brought back to england was fake as well!!! money by deception!!!
    davids also got these pictures of bonkers dressed up with a batman gimp mask or something during magic ceremony. david u should print that one or publish it. if he complains about it hes admitting it him behind the mask!!!! plus the copyright is urs as uv got the negativres.
    david did the duel pictures come from city limits? i cant remember what it said in your cuttings books.
    cheers
    Craig

  9. Well, since I am not of this earth but resident in “the cat afterlife” it would take Witchcraft to send physical objects such as books or photos here to “Narnia”, but David could probably do it.

  10. Hi Matt,
    You asked about the release date for the books: Firstly, as I am working on both of them at the same time (alternatively so to speak) the release will probably be about the same for both of them – at least, there won’t be that bigger gap in-between. I am looking to early summer for a completion date, then not many weeks after for the release dates.
    In the case of one of the books, some complimentary copies will be going out almost immediately after completion to people and places where erroneous information has but put in the public domain both by word of mouth and via. other material actually published. The purpose of this is obviously to make relevant people aware of the true facts behind such allegations and to establish (certainly by means of documented evidence) that these were – and are – untrue.
    The other book is a compilation of my two autobiographies, originally published separately. This will contain a host of new photographs and text. Hopefully, this will also be released around midsummer.
    There is quite a lot of work involved in all this as you may appreciate, as also ‘finicky’ things to be taken care of, such as the re-allocation of new ISBN’s.
    But I will keep everybody informed,
    For now,
    David

  11. 1978? but wasnt he supposed to be a priest or something by that date or did that come later?
    either way its a scam and a half!
    did anyone ever send money?

  12. “david did the duel pictures come from city limits? i cant remember what it said in your cuttings books.
    cheers
    Craig”
    Yes that’s right, Craig. “City Limits” [1984] was the magazine. Their two pictures showed my self and another person fighting a duel with swords in Highgate Woods. The story ran over a few weeks.
    The picture you refer to though (showing the ‘bonkers person’ supposedly lying ‘dead’ covered with blood), did not.
    This was put out privately to accompany the ‘death notice’ you refer to [the date of that was 1978] requesting money for the person’s body to be ‘shipped back to England’ to be buried at his ‘beloved Glastonbury’!
    My Lord! The things some people do for the sake of publicity!
    For the moment,
    David

  13. The person never claimed to be a ‘priest’ (in quotes deliberately) until 1990 – all such claims as those were to come later.
    He also later claimed to have founded some ‘mystical Order’ based on some search for the Holy Grail in 1973. (Can’t remember what this was called; but it doesn’t really matter as the title was invented much later anyway).
    Another such claim was that he was a direct descendent of King Arthur; and yet a slightly later one, that he was descended (by blood) from the legendary Lord Byron! (Exclanation mark my own).
    Another later claim he made (and in all seriousness!) was that his ‘ancestry’ could be traced directly back to James ! of England!
    Gosh! The mind truly boggles that anybody could be expected to take in such nonsense. Unfortunately, there seem to have been a tiny handful of people who not only did, but assert that this is true!
    Needless to say, perhaps, I am not one of these!
    David

  14. David, I heard a rumour that during “posing” for these dueling photos, Bonky was upset by your ability to repeatedly slap him on the buttocks with the flat of your sword.
    Have you had any fencing training?

  15. I am truly amazed Cat! For once your information is accurate!
    The filming for the duel (or rather the re-construction of the duel) took place in Highgate Woods late one evening in the summer of 1984. Bonky in fact came to my flat beforehand with a girl he introduced as ‘Katrina’ and brought two real swords along (he wanted it to look as authentic as possible, or so he told us).
    He indeed got very upset during filming takes, when I kept hitting him quickly across the seat of the tight Edwardian breeches that he’d worn specially for the occasion. Everybody else thought this was funny – but he didn’t.
    Two photo stills from this filming session, Bonky later released to the London magazine (now defunct) “City Limits”. These were published in two editions of this magazine in July 1984. (Two of the publications I recently showed to Craig and his two friends when they visited).
    The second of these published pictures showed myself kneeling on the ground with Bonky posing for the cameras holding a sword at my throat. (His way of exacting ‘revenge’ for the earlier humiliation I had subjected him to, I suppose!).
    Congratulations Cat. I was beginning to think you were only capable of spreading sexist scandal!
    For now,
    David

  16. 2? there were 3 of them!!!
    i know he was the quietest one but dont forget mark!!!
    david is katrina the same woman who is on his website then? kgb?
    david uv got to tell cat about that signed declaration thing with wax mareks on it.
    “i hereby cease all” that one.
    cheers
    Craig

  17. You’re really enjoying this film/duel thing aren’t you Craig?!
    First, I didn’t forget Mark. I just forgot his name that’s all. Nothing unusual with me, I often do that when I meet people for the first time. I even did it with you after the talk, until you made contact!
    Yes. It is the same ‘Katrina’ who the person uses on his message boards.
    “I hereby cease all (hostilities)” was one of two “Peace Treaties” that two parties signed. One of these people was Bonky who put his very own wax seal on the parchment (bloody idiot!). The first ‘Treaty’ was signed in 1981, I believe. Whatever, it was before the duel filming in July 1984; which I suppose is one reason that filming even went ahead.
    It really is rather difficult to discuss this matter without involving other people which, I’ve already explained, I don’t really want to do here.
    Whether it be alleged ‘clergymen’, or tratiors who may have joined their churches and ranks, it all leaves rather a nasty taste in the mouth.
    Look, you can tell Cat if you want to. But just be very careful what you say. And just remember something else too . . . I will be moderating it!!!
    But as it amuses you so much, I don’t see any harm in it. The whole thing was only drummed up as yet another publiciy stunt on his part anyway; so its not as if it was even serious!
    For the moment,
    David

  18. HAHAHAHA!!!
    KING ARTHUR AND ENFIELD??!!
    never thought i’d hear those in the same sentence.
    its like saying jesus went to peckham for a sight seeing trip!
    u mentioned the byron thing. rubbish. if there was any truth to it hed be shoving it down our throats with family tree stuff and geneology maps as proof. and saying hes related to king arthur is mental as historians cant even prove he really existed as one person. some say he was a collected charctare based on loads of old kings.
    bonkers is a very appropriate name mate!
    cheers
    Craig
    p.s Cat why dont u do some digging in the afterlife to see if byron or art’s animals know anything! lol

  19. You must know she reads this all the time, Craig. So careful when you go over there again!
    Its bad enough being ‘told off’ on the phone sometimes, believe me.
    But think; you would be there in person! Well, rather you than me!
    David

  20. Bonky tends to wear all sorts of affected and even effeminate things, Cat. Mostly when he poses for publicity stunts.
    I think the classic one was (or one of them) in 1986 or so, when he was posing on the front page of a North London newspaper dressed in what can only be described as a ‘Pagan nightdress’ and brandishing a sword.
    On a ‘quest’ to find King Arthur’s cross said to be buried somewhere in the grounds of Forte Hall, in Enfield, he said. (The cross, that is, not King Arthur!).
    David

  21. As a matter of fact Craig, somebody once told me (who had studied Byron and who was a regular visitor to Newstead Abbey) that the whole story of Bonkers being related to Lord Byron was rubbish.
    She said she had even studied Byron’s genuine family tree, and that there was no mention of Bonkers on it (under his proper name of course) whatsoever.
    She said this proved that the whole story was fiction.
    Well, who was I to argue?!
    As a matter of fact, I didn’t!
    David

  22. Of course you are Columbine. And bring your new friend if you want.
    Yes, I’d like you to meet Craig when he comes over again. He promised to bring Laura next time, so that should be fun!
    For now,
    David

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