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The Human Touch Blog ~
David Farrant

Here She Is!

© Della Farrant

I’m fed up this evening, so I feel like having a bit of fun!

Nearly out of cigarettes, too lazy to go out and get any now, have to go out though as need other things.  I don’t even feel like writing anything, but had K on the phone earlier and she said its imperative I keep my Blog current – especially now my new book “Pact with the Devil” has just hit the shelves.  I have already sent copies of this out to several people, and the reaction has really been disbelief how anyone could treat a ‘harmless white witch’ (myself in case you hadn’t guessed!) with such a vindictive vengeance.  Well, that’s another matter, but I’m still fed up.  So what better way, I though, but to cheer myself up by giving you all some exclusive news from an ‘inside perspective’.

The news is this:  people keep asking me if there is any truth in the rumour that my friends ‘Greenwitch’ and Gareth are really engaged?!  Have they really been having a secret affair which has caused the flow of such rumours?  Are such rumours just groundless speculation?  Or could there perhaps be some substance that has caused these to circulate?

I am just asking; neither confirming nor denying. Maybe we could pick up a few clues from the picture of the two of them together (above)?

Now, they are both sitting comfortably on a bed – looking extremely ‘innocent’ it has to be said, but nevertheless in the close proximity of each other.  I think we can all agree that photographs don’t generally ‘lie’ (unless they happen to be doctored by people dressed in teapot cosies!) and as this photograph is exclusively my copyright, you all have my word that the photograph is genuine.
I can also tell you that the photograph was taken in my own home; which of course begs the question why Greenwitch would have travelled specially from her home in West Yorkshire to meet Gareth in London?  Was it just an innocent meeting?  Or could an eventual marriage be in the air?!?

Or is there absolutely no truth in the speculation at all.  But this also leaves the question just why were they sitting so close together before suddenly being ‘startled’ by a camera? I am merely asking.  The case rests.  I’ll let you people be the judge!

Seriously folks, for those of you who keep asking what Greenwitch really looks like . . . well, here she is!

For the moment,


6 responses

  1. Hi David–have just spotted this! You naughty boy. What is so funny about the thought–should I be insulted–should Sir Gareth be insulted? I can’t even imagine why it should be amusing even if it was true- and no personal offence intended, but I would sooner slit my throat than get involved with ANYONE–I like my own company and space far too much these days to ever contemplate being cluttered up with a fella, however handsome, noble and rich he might be. He would still have dirty socks and think himself Mr Wonderful ! No chance!
    Had you been drinking or simply feeling bored and feeling like doing soemthing a bit dickipoggy? Or were you basing it on your own rumbustious red-blooded romantic past, you old romeo, and the tragic tale of the fair young maiden who fell disaterously in love with her trendy London vampire hunting hero–( which one–haha that is the question!)
    toodlohoo and please give SG my regards–if I remember correctly some febrile speculations a little while ago had hallucinations of myself and John Pope de Locksley becase we were sitting next to each other, unavoidably, on the single bed in your –its seems according some of your younger fans daft notions –lecherous lair–which serves as a seat to visiting guests. Does everyone who sits on this dangerous seat get glued together as a “couple?”
    tata again,

  2. ,Hi Damiana,I am surprised you are on your own.Saw your picture on Robin Hood site and thought how pretty you were.So surprised you are single.As for Gareth,he looks like blokes do when they are photographed,as if he doesnt want to be there.Nice to know what people look like.though.

  3. Barbara asked, “Does everyone who sits on this dangerous seat get glued together as a “couple?” I certainly hope not. In any case, at least you are smiling in that picture. A result I imagine of being exposed to Gareth’s whipcracking wit?

  4. David,
    You should note that, when Barbara calls me ‘Sir Gareth’, you should refer to her as ‘Dame Barbara’. I cannot comment upon these rumours that are going around about myself and madame, as these are personal matters which should not be entered into here.
    Gareth J. Medway,

  5. Well. Claremonde, now you know what they both look like, in person. Think I’d better shut up now though. Barbara has already ‘ticked me off’, and Sir Gareth is none too pleased! But I really can’t help it. Us ‘witches’ sometimes just get bored iwth ‘material matters’ sometimes, and like to test peoples’s sense of humour!
    Hope you are well,

  6. I can be Lady Barbara because I am a Laydee–then everyone will have to doff their caps!
    Thank you Claremonde and on that note maybe we can let the matter be forgotten.I shall not sit on that seat again though if I come to your pad again David–when I got photographed on it and JPL happened to be on it also some nitwit decided to pair me up with him, I shall sit on the chair or on the floor, or simply refuse a photocall!
    tata barbara

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1946 - 2019




From the vaults ...

A flashback to one of David’s comedic, profound or quizzical blog entries. Dive into the archives to find more gems.