Well, I saw my girl with no name earlier and we went for tea and coffee. I have not mentioned her recently – deliberately. One reason is she’s been away for 3 weeks and only got back yesterday, but if you noticed I’d almost stopped writing about her before that.
The main reason is more difficult to explain. I just felt that to write about her regularly, as I was, was to somehow invade her privacy; even though she knows nothing about this Blog. She really doesn’t; indeed, if she did, I would not even have mentioned her at all. In fact, she knows scarcely anything about me. She obviously knows I’m quite well known, as people keep acknowledging me when we’re together sometimes but she never asks things like “why do so many people know you”? I know she would listen if I told her, but that’s much easier than it sounds because my life has been so hectic, and many things are really connected to each other.
I thinks she senses that I would prefer to leave everything ‘empty’ and only that the immediate present is really important. That is so really, with everyone, if you think about it. Everybody has good, bad and indifference in their pasts. By all means remember the good times. Why not just forget all the ‘indifferent’ periods, and certainly do not fester in the ‘bad’ or negative one’s. A lot of people do that you know. They bring negative events into the present when these might be long since ‘dead’ and allow these to corrupt their thinking.
Anyway I was really glad to see her again as I really missed her. And I think she knew it too.
I probably won’t mention our meetings here anymore. It probably doesn’t serve any point as deeper feelings should probably be left completely private, unless something happens around them.
Well, I see we had a guest appearance here yesterday. My friend Barbara popped her head around the door to say hello! I responded a couple of times as people can see, which did not go down too well with some other people. I mean, my replying, not her saying ’hello’. I think its mainly because Barbara is linked directly to events in the recent past (not the distant past when I first met her in the mid nineties) and people would rather not be reminded of these here – or perhaps more accurately, have these extended to here.
I respected their views, but have to point out that I always deal with situations as these arise, not by pre-determined judgements. That does not mean that I will pretend that some things didn’t happen when they did; but it means that I feel people should be met on their present values and attitudes, not denied these because of possible past motivations.
That does mean either that negativity can not be dealt with in the present (no, this is not a contradiction) if it is for the purposes of correcting falsity or negative intent. Indeed, I am doing that myself at the moment, and it will take the form of a book.
I do respect peoples’ view and opinions, however, but I would also ask them to respect my judgement sometimes. After all, in this case I was the person on the receiving end of this ‘hate’ campaign – at least, the main one!
Anyway, I have explained this for the sake of others who may be wondering the same way. I can take the odd ‘telling off’, but overall, no harm has been done After all, it is my Blog!
Away from the turmoil’s of mortal existence, I think I will take a break tonight. I need a bit of solitude for thought. I think I’ve earned it!
For the moment,