Lost Days?

Strange experience today; well, not so much ‘strange’ but one of those that sticks in your mind.

Walking around the clustered streets (slowly), I passed a girl who I had long since thought had left the area. Our eyes quickly met in passing; but it wasn’t a casual look, but one of silent recognition. She smiled and was gone; but then the old feelings came flooding back as if re-vitalised by the brief meeting.

She had worked in a bank in Muswell Hill a few years before, and I had continually made a point of going in there as an excuse to see her. My visits were often unnecessary (and I think she realised this) although I always had no other ‘excuse’ but to pay in money. Usually it was only five pounds, but sometimes I used to do this every day and she must have wondered why I didn’t just pay in just twenty five pounds on one day in the week all at once!

But the point is, I only visited that particular bank as an excuse to see her. She was very shy, and it took me a few weeks to find the courage to ask her name. But I was fascinated by her gentle shyness; indeed, this only added to my attraction for her. She was only young and exceptionally ‘plain‘(in the sense she didn’t decorate herself with make up), but so very beautiful. Not just physical beauty (that doesn’t really matter), but also an inward one which was the main part of the attraction.

I thought about her often over two years or so, but her memory had slowly (very slowly) died after she suddenly left the bank.

And now I had suddenly seen her again, and this started up the old thoughts. Kind of distracting in the midst of so much other turmoil. Yet in a funny sort of way, a sort of ‘invigorating distraction’.

I was thinking about this again earlier. Just what IS it that attracts one human being to another? It is a feeling that is ’there’, obviously, but what is it that actually brings this feeling into being? I have a pretty good idea on this, but I’m not going to answer my own question here.

In her case (as applied to myself) I sensed she was just as much a part of this feeling as I was.

In my case, I can only say that the feeling was not sexual (well, all right, that feeling was there but it was only secondary, very secondary), but more motivated by an ’unsought attraction’ – albeit that this developed by itself shortly afterwards.

Then all of a sudden, she was lost in the crowds. Wish I was more extrovert sometimes, as I might have made an effort to stop her. Well, there’s always tomorrow . . . Maybe.

D

 

8 Comments

  • Joe Meek's Landlady on Aug 26, 2007

    See here I won’t have a stray tabby lecturing me about “morals”. And if by dark past you are alluding to that unpleasantness on Holloway Road so many years ago you are barking up the wrong tree, or maybe I should say “scratching” up it. Everyone knows David had nought to do with it and shame on you for bringing it up.

  • John Baldry's Cat on Aug 26, 2007

    Are you having a laugh now? He said nothing about making noise in his apartment, only that he fancied a shy woman he’d seen at the bank. It’s not that you have an axe to grind with David for some reason is it? Some tie to the dark past?

  • Joe Meek's Landlady on Aug 26, 2007

    The man can do what he wants in the privacy of his home as long as he’s quiet. Pity if I should have to take my broom to the ceiling above cos of the noise. This isn’t Las Vegas y’know. And why am I letting a cat tell me what to think I shouldn’t wonder.

  • John Baldry's Cat on Aug 26, 2007

    Nothing wrong with a lad or lass having a night out on the tiles if that is what they want to do. You should be happy for him, he’s alive and healthy, Violet.

  • David Farrant on Aug 26, 2007

    Contrary to popular belief you unfortunate ghost, I have never been a ‘womaniser’! I respect them too much to inflict myself upon them!

    D

  • Joe Meek's Landlady on Aug 25, 2007

    Why do I get the impression that David has chased more miniskirts than Austin Powers?

  • David Farrant on Aug 25, 2007

    My friend Gareth wrote the above post on my computer tonight when he visited.

    I can only ask him, what he was doing leaving his ‘Soho haunts’ to visit a bank?!

    ‘Short leather mini skirt’, indeed! The person I was talking about usually used to wear a long ‘Indian-type’ dress. Maybe that’s where our tastes differ!

    David

  • David Farrant on Aug 24, 2007

    You have reminded me of when I was a student, and had to keep going into a bank in Kensington, because, my account not having been ‘sensibly handled’ as they put it, I was only allowed to take out a small amount of money at a time. I particularly remember one young lady teller who used to wear a black leather miniskirt. Alas, we never met except when there was a bullet proof glass screen between us.
    Gareth J. Medway

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